On Family and Replacements

I miss my family... and people are always surprised that I live here "alone."

Guy: "Do you have any relatives or family here?"
Mary: "Em, no..."
Bizarro Mom: "You have ME!!!"
*gives me a hug*
Mary: "Right, my Ersatz-mama!"
Syd: "Mary has three families... her Texas Family, her German Replacement Family and her International Spiritual Christian Family."
Mary: "Hmm, true..."
Huckelberry: *continues punching holes in a notecard*

I think I miss my family so much because I was recently home... and because they're such kind, loving, normal people.

As you can see in this picture, my dad and I have a very gentle, loving, healthy relationship.


Katinka is always so proper and lady-like...


You'll definitely see the sisterly resemblance between me and my Emita in the next two pictures:



As Bizarro dropped me off at the airport before Christmas, we had the following exchange:

Mary: "I'm really going to miss you guys over Christmas..."
Bizarro: "But you have good replacements."
Mary: "Wait, who's replacing whom?"

Is it possible to have a Replacement Family for a Replacement Family?

Youth: "Syd, please play the piano so we can sing!"
Syd: "No, let's sing without the piano this time..."
Youth: "Please! Please! Please!"
Syd: "I don't want to... and what are you guys going to do when I'm gone next year?"
Youth: "Mary will play. You're REPLACEABLE."

Which is absolutely false. No one is replaceable. No person, no family, no one.

When I'm in Germany, I miss my family. When I'm in Texas, I realize how much I love and miss everyone here.

So ist das Leben.

Christmas 2006 Photos!

Yes, photos from Christmas have finally been sorted through and uploaded! Hope you all enjoy them. As always, click on the picture to make it larger.

Three of the dearest people on the Planet...



Here's Kenny hanging up Christmas lights on the side of our house...



This is our Texas house by night (good job, Kenny!).



And here's our Texas house by day! Yeah, that's Tiny practicing her modeling pose on the front walkway.



Mamita was ironing something in the kitchen. See the lovely new wooden floors and the green walls? Back in the day when I lived at home, we had tiled floors and wallpaper with light pink and blue flowers.



Me and my Mamita...



This was taken from the back of the auditorium of my Texas church, to give you an idea of what it looks like inside.



Here's what a typical Texas intersection looks like... my Dad refers to it as a "Spaghetti Junction." This particular intersection actually has five levels. Krazy Amis.



We visited my sister Emita's house and here we are behind this weird built-in-the-wall-shelf-thing.



Here she is playing the piano at the Student Center at her University, my alma mater. We need to have another Pride and Prejudice night...



Katinka was on the phone and Tiny's just plain weird...



Isn't Inkie cute?

That's all, Folks.

I miss my fam...

Blog Thoughts for my Dear Readers

Yes, folks, it's that time again: Blog Update Post Time!

I've been thinking about some things and would like to make the following known:

This blog is open to The Public. "The Public" could be defined as the entire internet population - wackos, sleuths, hackers and angel-eyed innocents (like moi) included.

Not to scare anyone... but if your picture is in my blog, it's available to The Public.

The same is true for your name.

I will thus change all real-life names on this blog to code names.


If you, my Dear Readers, ever have a problem with anything I've written in this blog, including but not limited to

use of your name (real or code name)

use of a picture of you

use of a video of you

hinting about you

any other content

please let me know and I will immediately make the necessary changes (unless you're on my bad side and I'm certain that you lack the drive and power to sue me).

I've included many of you in this blog without your permission and in the next several days/weeks, as I see you all live-and-in-person, I'll try to ask you one-on-one if you're ok with the direction of the blog and the fact that you might be in it. :)

This blog is about life in Germany from an American's perspective. As you all know, much of my life here includes other people, which makes it practically impossible not to include many of you.

To re-iterate: please let me know if you have a problem with anything I've posted... I can change/delete/update anything.

Your faithful and zealous Blog-writer,

Pallas Athena (my new code name)

Contradictory Advice

"The job market in Germany is horrible... it's practically impossible to find a job."

"Of course you'll find a job... I'm not worried at all about you."

"You probably won't find a job in Financial Analysis because you didn't actually study it."

"Sure you'll find a job in Financial Analysis... you have experience! You just have to be confident, prove you're the right person, and be willing to learn."

"You eat way too much chocolate."

"You don't eat enough; you're too skinny."

"Germany is so far away from home... are you sure you still want to live there?"

"You're in exactly the right location."

"Isn't it about time for a haircut? Maybe even a pixie cut?"

"Don't cut your hair - it looks good when it's longer."

"Stop playing the piano... I can't hear the television."

"Of course your piano playing isn't annoying! What makes you think that?"

"Are you still interested The Boy Unnamed? Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you'd have gotten together with him?"

"It's good that you ran away from The Boy Unnamed."

"Don't you ever marry a German! You need to come straight home and marry a white boy."

"You ought to marry a German so you can stay in Germany."

"Good heavens! Why are you living in Europe? I would never do such a thing!"

"I wish I had lived overseas when I was younger... what a great experience."


Anyone out there ever feel, um, torn? Confused? Frustrated? Bombarded with contradicting advice, all from people you love and respect?


*screams and punches a hole in the wall*

Back in Neukuchen* (Or, Thoughts on Death and the New Year)

You know you're in Germany when... people unabashedly put on deoderant in open public places, when straight men cross their legs and apply chapstick in public, and when cigarette smoke lingers and follows you no matter where you are and whether or not you yourself smoke.

:)

Anyway.

I made it back safely and soundly and was happy to see Bizarro Mom (THANK YOU!) at the airport.

It's a new year. 2007. It seems that just yesterday I was preparing an informative speech for my Rhetoric Class on Y2K and the anticipated problems of the two-digit date format in computer programs. Now, seven years later, instead of pondering potential end-of-the-world issues, I'm pondering actual real-world issues.

As the plane went through some turbulence on my flight today, I had a bizarre and fleeting thought that it'd actually be kinda nice if it went down. Maybe not nice nice... but I'd be ok with it. No job hunting. No interviews. No being torn between worlds. No over-analyzing things and driving myself crazy.

I'm not that old, but I've seen and done quite a bit and could probably die decently happy at this point.

Is that morbidity? Is that contentment? Or perhaps discontentment? Or something else? *scratches her head and thinks*

The good thing about Christian spirituality is that you can always start over. As a matter of fact, it's all about fresh starts and forgiveness.

It's a new year. 2007. No matter what you've done from the moment you were born until December 31, 2006, you can start over on January 1, 2007. And if you screw up on January 1, 2007, then you can start over on January 2, 2007. And if you screw up at, say, noon on January 1, 2007, you can start over at 12:01 on January 1, 2007.

Life is a race, and it's about looking forward. A speaker once said that past failures lead to future paralysis... and past successes lead to future complacency.

*chew chew chew*

It's true, though, isn't it? So, I hope everyone looks forward this year... starts over from this moment on (if necessary... but then again, don't we all have things with which we ought to start afresh?)... runs a new and focused race.

It's a new year. 2007. Think about it, please.

To finish the story, the plane didn't go down; it landed safely and smoothly in the lovely town of Duesseldorf. Which evidently means I'm supposed to be alive for now and keep pushing forward in the Craziness that is Life. *shrugs her shoulders* Ok, can do.

It really was great being with my family.

*blows five disgustingly wet and sloppy smooches across the Atlantic Ocean*


*Tiny and Emita's pronunciation of Neukirchen, my city

Back-in-the-US Observations/ Thoughts/ Comments/ Etc...

I love and miss my family. It's weird that I live so far away. *scratches her head and thinks*

People are friendlier. Example: the airport security guard chatted with me and wished me a Merry Christmas as he was checking my passport. I was confused.

Commercialism. Shopping. Billboards. Advertisements. Flashing Lights. Keeping up with the Joneses. Ugh.

The Government is clueless. *decides not to expound*

But I do kinda miss Big Brother and his socialistic tendencies.

Movies. TV. People watch quite a bit of this stuff. And it's often the topic of conversation.

Unlimited drink refills, yes!

The roads are extremely wide and the cars are freaking huge.

Southern accents are kinda funny.

It's nice not having a language barrier... though there have been quite a few times where a German word or phrase would have fitted much better.

People aren't as fat as I thought they'd be.

It's nice not to have to separate trash into half-a-dozen trash cans.

In general, people seem like they're in a hurry. And they seem slightly unfocused and unable to concentrate.

Water fountains are a brilliant invention and ought to be exported to Europe.

Stuff is generally less expensive.

Customer service actually exists... though it's nice, I would like to enjoy a meal without the waiter coming by every two minutes and asking me if I still have enough to drink.

The Spanish language is more present than ever before.

Mexico is taking over the Southern States.

It's weird talking in English to strangers. At the mall with my sister, I bumped into someone and an "Entschuldigung" slipped out.

Thunderstorms with tornado watches make me really nervous.

My heart is torn between Austin and Neukirchen.


Anyone else experience Weirdness when traveling between countries? Let me know - we'll add your stuff to the List. :)

Family Christmas Letter!

Well, Mom wanted me to write our Family Christmas Letter this year... and she wanted it to be obvious that I'd written it. So, here it is.

Dear Family and Friends,

Mom’s hoping to start a new Christmas tradition of me (Mary) writing our family Christmas letter. As I didn’t fly in from Germany until the 18th, we’re a little late this year. It’s been an incredible year of growth and challenge for everyone… here are the some of the highlights:

Dad (Chuck): in his down-time between hunting trips (be it for wild boar, deer, or even cougar), Dad is still on staff with Hill Country Bible Church. He actually took on the new role of Small Groups Pastor this year, which he is really enjoying.

Mom (Libby): still working as the receptionist at Hill Country Christian School of Austin, Mom’s also had a great year. Highlights include visiting me in Germany, learning how to quilt, and counseling younger couples with Dad. She’s also enjoyed being able to see her family this year, as several nieces and nephews have gotten married.

Me (Mary): having made it through my first year in Germany, I love my new life and circle of friends and families. I’m involved with the youth, help lead the worship music on Sundays, and host a weekly Bible Study group. Unfortunately, my company filed for bankruptcy, so I’m in the process of trusting God and job hunting because I’d love to stay exactly where I am.

Katherine: now in her upper-level nursing courses at the University of Texas, Katherine is enjoying the hands-on side of nursing and is gaining excellent practical experience. She even practices IV administration on Dad - what a family. She’s also involved in children’s ministry at the Hill Country Bible Church UT Church Plant in Austin and works part time at the hospital.

Emilie: in her second year at Texas A&M University, Emilie declared Speech Communications to be her major. She’s had a great year, which has included Bible Studies at her church, moving into a little house off campus, starting to play the piano again (Pride and Prejudice music is her specialty!), and even taking a Scuba-diving class.

Christina: this Christmas letter isn’t the only place you can read about Christina… just check out the local newspapers. As a high school Senior, her Volleyball team had a 14-0 Season and was 10th in the State of Texas. She’ll graduate in May and is still deciding where to go to college and what her next steps will be.

We wish you all a wonderful Christmas and may God bless you in 2007!

The Barber Family

Christmas Break...

*takes a brief writing break, as there's so much going on*

Back in Austin...

Well, I made it home, and without any type of drama.

It. Is. So. Good. To. See. My. Family. Again.

My goodness.

Home.

Home?

A ton has changed, though, it really has.

Ah, life.

Biomuell* Conquered!!!

Yesterday was a Day of Victory, a Day of Conquered Fears, a magnificent Day in the History of Biomuell that will always be remembered and retold by generations to come.

It all began as a normal, peaceful day in the little German town of Neukirchen-Vluyn... while walking back to my appartment, day-dreaming and humming a lovely old hymn (without a jazz motiv), I couldn't help but notice the plethora of brightly coloured Fall leaves scattered over the cobblestone streets.

Bizarro Mom had evidently noticed them as well, as she was outside raking when I got home. So, I stopped to help.

[Aside for my dear American readers: leaves, branches, plants and such all belong in Biomuell.]

There were so many leaves, however, that we couldn't fit them into the Biomuell trash can.

Bizarro Mom: "I think you ought to stand in the trash can and press the leaves down so we can fit more in..."
Mary: "Em, what?"
Bizarro: "Here, I'll lift you into the trash can... you're light."
Mary: "Ok, but let me take my rings off first."

So, believe it or not, I was inside the Biomuell trash can, jumping up and down, trying to smash the leaves down and make more room. At first I was rather frightened... frightened that the Biomuell might swallow me up or eat me alive, or that I might dissolve right into the trash can.

But yesterday was victorious... not only was the Biomuell conquered, but my deep-entrenched-stemming-from-traumatic-past-events fear of Biomuell was conquered as well.

Driver's licence: obtained.

Biomuell issues: resolved.

Packing for Texas: Em...

New Job: Em...

Sanity: Em...

At least there's a certain degree of success in the chaos and confusion that can often be My Life.


*biological waste


[Aside II... for my new readers who haven't followed the drama and for my regular readers who are interested, here are the links to the previous Biomuell blogs, in chronological order:
My Biomuell is going to kill me in my sleep,
And the Biomuell Saga continues...,
BIOMUELL AMBUSH!!! (Or, Biomuell, Part III).]

LU Granny Bars?

***warning***
This blog is especially for my German readers
***end of warning***

Hallo meine Lieben!

Da die meisten, die mein Blog lesen Deutsche sind habe ich mich entschlossen, den Blog ab jetzt auf Deutsch zu schreiben. Ne, Scherz. :)

Aber jetzt ganz ernst: habe eine E-mail von meiner Schwester Tiny bekommen und die will etwas, was sich "LU Granny Bars" nennt. Kennt irgendjemand von euch die? Die sind scheinbar Kekse und kommen aus Belgien. Die kenne ich überhaupt nicht und dachte, dass einer von euch die vielleicht kennt oder wisst, wo ich mir welche besorgen könnte.

Ok, das wars.

Und ja, Eleanor, du darfst mein Deutsch ruhig korrigieren. Aber nur wenn du mir gleichzeitig LU Granny Bars besorgst.


Quote of the Day: "Hey, das ist nicht normal..." (Thanks to Karin)

Return of the Beatles* (with Ukeleles)

Here's the Little Rascal (left) and Tobi's (right) rendition of Jingle Bells. This was taken during our Advents Christmas Service.



They really ought to start a band. We all should start a band.

Syd could play the piano.

Karin could be our Tour Manager and Group Mom.

Helmut could play the guitar and be the lead vocalist.

Tobi could play the ukelele and do set-design and band art.

The Little Rascal could play the drums and back-up ukelele.

Lizzy, Anne and Miri could be our back-up dancers.

Christiana could be the lead female vocalist.

And I could be the Finance Manager and back-up pianist.


*for those of you who don't know, the Beatles were known for wearing tuxedos when performing. And they had kind-of-long hair. :)

*Shhhhhhh*

I love Girl Talks! :)

The Picture Update Post

As usual, I'm behind on picture uploading and posting, so I thought I'd do a photo collage to catch up. So, my Dears, here are some of my favourite photos and memories from the past several weeks.

To make the picture larger, click on it. If you're not sure who someone is, check out the List of Characters.

Enjoy!

A few weeks ago, Tobi, Karin, Anne, Lizzy, the Little Rascal and I went to this old production site that's typical for the Ruhrgebiet. You can actually climb to the top of it and see where/how people used to work.


Tobi is explaining something to Anne and me...


Pretty high, hmm?


Aww, I love everybody. :)


I, em, have some news... just kidding! This is Lukas and he belongs to a little friend of mine.


Mamita and Ellen at the top of a Windmill in Xanten! I'm surprised Mom didn't freak. :)


Here's a picture from inside the windmill. The mill is actually in use - they grind the flour there and then make bread in a little bakery at the bottom of the mill. You can see a little of the shop through the opening in the floor.


Christiana, Helmut and I had a glass of Champagne at our "Stammkneipe" in celebration of the fact that I finally have my *bleeping* driver's license.


Here are Karin and Lizzy helping prepare for the Youth Church Service. Karin and I were in charge of feeding 150 people! *drama* But it ended up just fine. To see more pictures of Youth Service, check out our entry on the church blog.


Helmut, Bizarro Mom and Christiana at the Youth Service. :)


Mr. P. is explaining something to Charlotta Louisa. She's absolutely precious, and definitely a Daddy's Girl. :)


Last week a group of co-workers and I went to the Christmas Market in Moers and then got coffee afterwards. Eve is on the right... she's the one whose boyfriend plays in the band that we're going to see on Dec. 16th. :)


Here's my co-worker Fraenzchen, with whom I worked the closest. *sniff sniff* I really miss working with him and the rest of the group.


That's all for now, Folks.


[The Music Blog was updated yesterday, for those who are interested.]

Three Countries in 24 Hours

So... when trying to find my way to an interview today (Tuesday), I missed my exit and ended up in a different country. That's right... I missed my turn and somehow ended up in Holland this morning.

Poor Syd - everyone's always making fun of him for getting ridiculously lost and turned around... but at least he manages to remain in the correct country.

As most of you know, I was in Madrid yesterday (Monday). So... Spain and Germany and Holland make three countries within 24 hours.

*oooh*

I'm honestly burnt out from everything, but I'll post the Madrid pictures as soon as I get them uploaded. I'd especially like for Emita and Karin to look at them - see how they compare to Mexico.

Hasta luego, mis amigos.

Music School Recital

If there's one steady/stable/never-changing variable in my life at this point, it's my undying love of music. Seriously. And as long as I continue to feel this way, there's less of a chance that the Semester from Hell will be repeated (with new conditions and variables, that is).

After church today, I ended up at a Music School Recital with Mr. and Mrs. E and Syd. They sang mostly classical songs, and quite a few were in Latin... and it was absolutely heavenly!

And I thought that Peter Bay* was a dynamic conductor! The choir conductor today was in her own little angellic musical world; it was insane. I'd never seen anyone as into the music as she was... she lived and breathed it and even seemed to be in a trance-like state a certain points. When she conducted, she was graceful and fluid in her movements - almost as if she were dancing. (Though we did fear that she might knock the stand over!)

She also used her eyes to conduct, specifically when it came to solo pieces. For example, there was a duet with a Tenor and an Alto. She'd be in a meditative state with closed eyes as the pianist played the introduction or bridge. As soon as the singers were supposed to sing, she'd come alive - she'd open her eyes, look at them, and direct them, in a way, right from her chair.

It was all so strange and interesting.


*conductor of the Austin Symphony

Interview Preparation Questions

Got a list of interview prep questions I've been looking over and working through...

What attracts you to this particular company?
The fact that it's not bankrupt.

What is your biggest professional achievement?
The correction of our allocation cost center cycle... I calculated the necessasry correction and forecasted it. When the correction was executed, my forecast only had a 2,6% deviation from the actual costs. :)

Why should I give you this job?
Because I bought an expensive suit and removed my nosering for this interview. And because I'll put you on my hit-list if you don't.

What will you be looking for in a new role?
Something challenging but do-able, something requiring both German and English language skills, and something offering the opportunity to maybe take on new or different tasks in the future.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!!!!

Interview Insanity (or, I'll be in Madrid on Monday)

Got a call yesterday from a Headhunter I've been working with and he has a Spain-based (but international) client with their Germam headquarters in Berlin. They're going to fly me to Madrid this Monday for an interview with the head financial dude.

Em...

*scratches her head*

I'm not used to companies having money.

Christus Gemeinde NK Blog!

*drumroll*

Hello, my Dears!

Syd and I have decided to start a blog for our church. We already have a website, but we think a blog is a better way to keep people updated with the latest information and events. It's also more flexible and dynamic than a "normal" (though isn't normalcy relative?) website.

So, allow us to present to you... the Christus Gemeinde NK Blog, straight from the Center of the Universe and a neighboring town.

Hope you enjoy! Any feedback, ideas, comments, suggestions, etc, are always welcome.

By the way, it's in German... my American readers could enjoy the pictures, but the site is primarily for the people and the church here. :)

Your unemployed-blog-writing-germanized-semi-delusional friend,

Mary Elizabeth

The Update List

Things have been incredibly crazy, busy and hectic lately. Here's a list of some of the recent high-lights:

a wonderfully encouraging visit with my Mom, including everything from late-night-talks to sight-seeing to people-meeting to evening-walks.

great teamwork with the youth for the youth church service, which went wonderfully well!

listening to Neal's band during the youth church service - they were freaking amazing

working on a super-critical-top-secret project with Syd

crying happy tears after passing my practical driver's license test

knowing things I'm not supposed to know

not butchering my piano accompaniment piece when our choir sang last Sunday

getting together with some of my former coworkers

singing Beatles songs and drinking cappuccino at a little pub in Moers with Helmut and Christiana

receiving a postcard from my Emita

seeing a rainbow and thinking of hope, beauty and promises

Status Practical Driver's License Test: PASSED!!!

It was seriously totally God.

Need I write more?

The Mystery of the "H" Egg

The "H" Egg in my fridge seemed to have sparked questions in the minds of certain curiously snoopy young men. I about fell over laughing when opening the fridge after our Bible Study group this evening, because written next to the "H" was a question mark.

Yes, writing an "H" in permanent marker on eggs is a common occurence for me. And I have my reasons for doing so.

Laura: "Why are you writing about eggs when your mother is visiting you?"
Mary: "I dunno..."
Laura: "You should write about what you two are doing and talking about and thinking."
Mary: "But there's just so much. I don't know where to start."
Laura: "You could be creative."
Mary: "Or I could simply write about the strange egg in my fridge."
Laura: "Whatever you want."

There will be a prize (think: you own, personal "H" Egg) for the first person who correctly guesses what the "H" stands for.

And there might even be a prize for the most hilarious/creative suggestion.

Mom made it!

Just so everyone knows, Mom made it here safely! Tobi and I picked her up around 8 this morning, which would be 1 AM Texas time... so, she's rather tired and is taking a nap right now.

:)

Driver's License Update (yes, another one)

Yes, the notoriously unresolved issue is still a dark and looming shadow on the valley (oops, am I allowed to use that word?) that is life. But, thanks to help and encouragement from Mr. E and others, things are happening and looking brighter.

I changed driving schools and had my second driving hour at the new school and with a new instructor the other day. After driving all over town and on the Autobahn (sorry, didn't film it this time), I asked the following question:

Mary: "So... was my driving einigermassen in order today...?"
Instructor: "It was perfectly fine. I don't understand what the problem was at the other school."

Yeah, I have a hard time understanding what the problem was as well.

Could it be that I don't fare well when people curse at me, scream at me, bash me, bash other students, bash my driving, bash Americans, bash America in general, refuse to answer questions, give evil looks, tell me that my driving is getting worse, tell me that I'm going to fail the test, act impatiently, talk on the cell phone the entire time, call me "Frau Barber" when I want to be called "Mary", use the formal "you" (Sie) with me, look at me weird, make me feel like an idiot, make my life miserable, and desperately need tranquilizers and a straight jacket?

*scratches her head*

It's a mystery to me.

A Short Love Story (or... Love Letters vs. Blogs)

Once upon a time in the Fall, a Girl met a Boy. She thought she might love him, but after time passed, they decided to call things off. So she cried, packed her bags, and moved to a Land Far Away.

*a year goes by*

The next Fall, the Girl realized that she missed him. So, she wrote him a letter. But things still didn't work out, and she was still in the Land Far Away.

*another year goes by*

One day in November, it dawned on the Girl that it was the Fall again, and that she hadn't written or spoken with the Boy for a very, very long time.

But instead of writing him a letter, she wrote a blog.

The End.

:)

Legalism, Piano Playing and Drinks on the House

It's interesting... the majority of German Christians don't see drinking an occasional alcoholic beverage as negatively as American Christians see it. Ironically, legalism is culture-dependent. For example, at the international church in Augsburg that my family and I used to attend, the Christian women absolutely did not wear make-up. They'd drink hard liquor on a daily basis, but a touch of mascara? EVIL! Then there's the other extreme. Although Texas and other-southern-state Christians are notorious for caking their make-up on, you'll never find them within a mile from a drop of Federweisser.*

Anyway. All that to say... Helmut, Christiana and I have started a new tradition of going out for drinks after either Choir or a monthly Praise and Worship Service. This week, Beatrice was there as well. :)

A couple of weeks ago, we had a rather amusing evening. It all took place on a dark, rainy night, in a little pub in Neukirchen, which happened to have a piano right near our table. Throughout the evening I kept glancing at it, debating whether or not to play... until Helmut finally coaxed the bartender to let me try it out. After messing around and playing bits and pieces of various songs, I returned to the table, to see that she'd given us a round of drinks on the house. :)


Hehe. 10 minutes of piano playing for two red wines and an Amaretto. Not bad, hmm?

I would have never done that in the States. Some things change (or are changeable) with time, though, I've discovered...


Here are Helmut and Christiana...


And here I am with Beatrice.**

So, that's our little group. :)



*a deliciously sweet, slightly bubbly, perfectly innocent, mild wine

**Beatrice, if you seriously have a problem with my posting of this picture, let me know and I'll remove it. Just please don't sue me until I've at least found a new job.

*SCREEEEEEE*

My Mom is coming to Germany!!!!!!!

My Mom is coming to Germany.

My Mom is coming to Germany.

My Mom is coming to Germany.

I can't believe it! This Friday!

If I realize this is a dream, I'm going to throw myself off my balcony.

Unless, of course, I wake up and I'm not actually living thousands of miles away from my Mamita. Or I wake up and realize that the whole job situation is also merely a bad dream. And the driver's license crap. And the homesickness. And the other annoying psychological drama I bring on myself.

Nah, I love everyone here and I love life here. It's just that I have to deal with an impossible amount of Scheisse at this point and I feel rather inadequate and unable to cope with it all.

But we'll make it... afterall... MY MOM IS COMING TO GERMANY!!!!!!!

I miss my Mamita

Here we were last December, at a little hole-in-the-wall breakfast joint* where you can eat chips and salsa for breakfast.

There's nothing like like sweat droplets, a runny nose, and runny eyes from jalapeno salsa at 9 in the morning.

And there's nothing like being at home with my family.


*Trudy's, for my Austin readers - I highly recommend it.

Language Progress!

It was interesting... I spent Sunday in the Center of the Universe*, as usual... and stayed up rather late talking with Bizarro, Syd, Mr. P., Biff and Tobi. One thing I've noticed lately is that I can understand and speak German on a similar level during all hours of the day, including rather late at night.

"So, what's the point?" you might ask.

Well, earlier, I'd hit a wall towards the end of the day. This phenomena phenomenon was especially noticeable Wednesday nights during Bible Study, Friday nights with the youth, and when I was out late with friends. It was as if I'd simply run out of words and hit a language wall - I couldn't remember words I ought to know, couldn't formuluate sentences, and couldn't even understand that much anymore. Recently, this hasn't been happening.

Last night, some of the topics of conversation were a little new and difficult for me (tractor technicalities and earthquake geology, for example)... there are simply words I've never used and have no way of knowing. And even though it was 11 at night, I could follow most everything, and even chime in here and there - whether it be a question, a comment, or a word-definition-request (unfortunately, Leo decided to stay in Neukirchen, so I had to ask Syd).

Earlier, I would have simply had to tune out.

Language Progress! Yay!

I think that if I can manage to stay here, say, two or three more years, you won't be able to tell that I'm an American. I've always thought it'd be interesting to be able to fit so well into a different culture that people don't know you're a foreigner. :)


*Hoerstgen

The Soapbox* (or Sport ist Mord)

*steps on the soapbox*

*scratches her head*

*steps off the soapbox*

*steps on the soapbox*

*looks around*

*steps off the soapbox*

*steps on the soapbox*

*thinks for a few minutes*

*steps off the soapbox*

*wipes the sweat from her brow*

Phew, that was enough excercise for one day.

Yes, folks, that would be me exerting mental energy in deep contemplation of complicated life issues in complicated foreign languages, while simultaneously attempting to decide whether or not to stand on the soapbox to preach about certain issues and concerns, while simultaneously simultaneously (yes, this redundancy was madly and deliberately executed) exerting physical energy, which has supposed health benefits.

Though I tend to think that "Sport ist Mord" ("Sports is Death"... but it rhymes in German and thus sounds better).


*inspired by a conversation with Eleanor and Sydney

On Pessimism

The sign of a true pessimist is being pessimistic about your own pessimism. Contrary to popular belief, being a depressed-misunderstood-drowning-in-tears-wrist-slitting-Emo who sits around philosophizing while the guitar (or piano or whatever) gently weeps isn't as glamorous as some might think.

I get annoyed when people optimistically tell me how pessimistic and dark they are, and how their favourite color is black, blah, blah, blah. If you're really a pessimist, you're not going to cheerfully and proudly broadcast it. You're going to be pessimistic about it.

Just my opinion.

*steps off the soapbox*

Autobahn (and Interview)...

On the way home from an interview today, I decided to make a video in an attempt to capture the Autobahn Experience for my dear Texas/US audience.

The interview went well... though the city is too far away... ugh, I don't know what to do. And half the time I feel less like an international professional business woman and more like a little girl playing dress-up in her mom's high-heeled shoes.

Anyway. Enjoy the video. :)

Questions. And. Weird. Punctuation.

Life. Is. Frequently. Bewildering. And. I. Have. Many. Unanswered. Questions.

Is it better to be bewildered or to be bored?

Is it better to be constantly challenged or to live in a comfortable status quo?

Do normal, sane people make drastic overseas moves at age 22?

To what extent is age relative?

Is it ok to play Christmas music year-round?

Does everyone have a breaking point?

How far can someone be pushed/challenged before they go into burn-out-mode?

If you love someone, does it necessarily mean that they love you to the same extent?

Does out-of-sight equal out-of-mind?

Why do things rarely run as planned? If this is the case, why plan at all?

If you could look into the future, would you choose to do so?

When will German grocery stores start carrying chocolate chips?

That's. All. For. Now. Think. Think. Think.

Last day of work...

My last day of work (on-site, that is... I'm still technically a BenQ employee) was last Friday... and being inspired by the obnoxious press, I decided to take some pictures of my own to share with you all. Not too many people have lived through what I've had to go through, so I thought this might be of interest.

As always, click on the photo to make it larger.


This is the view when leaving the building... and as you can see, there are several people from the press waiting outisde to take our pictures as we left. Now, put yourself in my shoes for a minute: you've been crying with your co-workers all day because everything is so sudden and brutal... and when leaving the building (with a swollen, red face, of course) for probably the last time, people from the press are outside waiting for you and taking snapshots. It was harsh, to the say the least, and I wouldn't wish what I had to go through on anyone.


The press took pictures of me and my co-workers without my permission, so I decided to take some lovely snapshots of them. This is another one taken while exiting the building. It was funny... as I was taking the pictures, cars were stopping for me and people were treating me as if I were a professional photographer of some sort. Ha.


They're seriously so blatant and unashamed about it! This guy was crouched to the left of the entrance, taking pictures. I guess my taking a picture of him was, em, slightly blatantly unashamed as well, but whatev. It was my last day and I was ticked off.


Here's the entrance to the building...


Someone taped a piece of paper that says "Siemens" over the BenQ sign at the entrance. Yet another way of demonstration...


This says "Don't close BenQ" It sounds better in German, though, cause it rhymes.


This says, "If you throw the people out, the lights in Kamp-Lintfort will go out." Again, it sounds better in German. Or maybe I stink at translating.


Here you can see the tent that IG Metall, the Labour Union which is responsible for us, set up. Their red flags and symbols are all over the site.


It's hard for me to describe the last several weeks... very harsh, brutal, overwhelming and nasty. But I've learned a ton, am having to seriously trust God, and am being forced to re-evaluate what it is I want to do and where I want to be.

Last year when moving here, I wanted a challenge. If ever I've had one, this is it.

Bewerbungsfoto

In Germany, when you apply for a job, you need a "Bewerbungsfoto" or an "application picture." Here's mine:


And here are some possible captions:


"Mary for President" (Thanks, Sarah!)

"Mary for Bundeskanzlerin" (inspired by Sarah)

"Constantine's Dream" (Thanks, Shelby... how embarrassing!!!)

"That's FRAU Barber to you"

"Professionalism at its Best"

"Insolvency Inschmolvency"

"The Barber Identity"

"Keep Exploring!"

"The Approaching Train Wreck"

"Taiwan gone Bad"

"Corporate Image!"

"Europe's Next Top Model"

"Das Leben ist... wait, cancel that thought."


I'm accepting more caption suggestions, in case you have any.

Youth Group Video!

If a picture's worth a thousand words, then what's a video worth? :)

This is so typical of what goes on with the youth at church. They're out of control and hilarious... and thanks to YouTube, my dear US Readers can have a glimpse of the insanity.



Ok, here's a recap of who everyone in the video is (see the List of Characters, as usual)...

Eleanor is the lady in the green shirt and orange jacket (she always wears orange or green).

Syd is in the red shirt to the left, observing as opposed to participating in such silliness.

The two girls on the couch on the right are Lizzy (brown jacket) and Annita (Syd's sis, in the yellow shirt).

The Little Rascal is the one in the green shirt and jumping around like a crazed monkey.

Mariposa is in the red jacket, trying to straighten up.

Yup yup. That's our little group.

Das Leben ist...

Though life can be brutally cruel, I've concluded that it's not a Jammertal.*

For every dose of Bitterness, there usually seems to be an equal, if not greater, dose of Sweetness. Or Goodness. Or Encouragement. Or Music. Or Beauty.

*Valley of Misery

Sozialized Healthcare saved my life (well, my sore throat)

I've finally found a system/organization in Germany that's not overly complicated, frustrating and downright aggravating on a very personal level: the Healthcare System!

Let's take a moment to applaud Sozialized Healthcare. *clap clap clap*

I went to the doctor for the first time since living here (that's right, folks, one year and one month without a doctor, MUAH!) and was dreading it. But it worked. All I did was pay my 10 Euro co-pay and let them scan my little insurance-credit-card-thing, and they let me in.

What I found odd was that they didn't give me a medical background questionnaire to fill out.

[Aside to my German friends: when you go to a new doctor in the States, you always have to fill out an extremely long and detailed questionnaire about your medical history. No, this information isn't passed on from one doctor to another.]

Today, all they did was ask for my address and phone number. Strangeness.

The doctor asked a few health questions, looked at my throat, then gave me some anti-biotics. It was that simple. And "free." And I didn't even have to strip and put on an uncomfortably awkward night gown.

No wonder so many co-workers go to the doctor and take off of work every chance they get. Hmm... it's actually not a bad idea...

Photo Recap of the Last Several Months...

Sunday was a lovely day... after church, Bizarro Mom and Mr. P. were nice enough to let me travel to the Center of the Universe* with them and spend the afternoon there doing nothing. Well, we read and took an afternoon nap. Then I played the piano and looked through photos while Bizarro sorted them into notebooks.

Looking at the photos reminded me that I haven't posted any here in a while... so... here are some older photos (I've been so bad about taking photos lately... need to start taking more again!) which have finally been uploaded.

To make a photo larger, simply click on it.

Enjoy. :)

Here I am with Lizzy. :)


Here are some of the crazy youth from church... they're fabulous! :)


This was taken at the Lake one lazy Sunday afternoon. As you can see, the trailor was parked on the edge of the of the overhang, providing a perfect platform from which one can hurl oneself into the water.


Here's Syd playing the piano (yay for overstating the obvious) at the Music Seminar in Wiedenest.


If you ever need an army of Lego Men, Köln is the place to go. This was taken at a Lego shop in Köln. I was disappointed, though, because there were some repeats. Cheaters.


And another Köln picture... as usual, Mr. P. and Syd are analyzing (or shall I say overcomplicating?) something.


Here I am with Biff on one of his strange tractor-like-lawn-mower-like contraptions.


A group of us from choir sang during the Easter and Baptism service back in the Spring. (Yes, I'm wayyy behind in my photo uploading and posting.) Eleanor and I tried to sing alto... but it ended up being a weird mixture (at least in my case) of alto and soprano.


This is our gymnasium-turned-auditorium, used for special/larger events. Similar to how we used to do it at Hill Country Bible Church.


That's all for now...


*Hörstgen

The Senile Woman and the Murderous Children

Today was interesting, to say the least. I took the day off to take care of some things and run som errands. La la la.

While outside the grocery store, this little old lady started talking to me. And she wouldn't stop. I seriously think she's senile and paranoid.

Lady: "Watch out for the children! They'll push you off your bike and beat you with sticks."
Mary: "Excuse me?"
Lady: "I was riding my bike through town, and the children came and beat me up. Look!" *shows me a nonexistent bruise on her face*
Mary: "Em..."
Lady: "I went to the police, but they won't do anything about it. The children are horrible. They're going to kill me."
Mary: "How do you know? Are you certain?"
Lady: "No one believes me! I tell everyone, and no one believes me. And they stole my bicycle, right out of the basement."
Mary: "That's terrible..."
Lady: "Then I was riding my bike over a bridge in Moers, and the children tried to push me off the bridge."
Mary: "I'm sorry..."
Lady: "They wanted to kill me."
Mary: "Is it possible that you've aggravated the children?"
Lady: "No! I just tell them not to scream and play in the street and they try to kill me. Be careful of them."

Ok. Sometimes when I write, I slightly fabricate the conversations. But everything I've written here - whether the lady said it or I said it - is true. I shortened and condensed what was said (she talked for about a half an hour...), but that's all.

I didn't know what to do or say.

And now I'm terrified that evil little children are going to sneak into my appartment and kill me in my sleep.

On Sex and Context

When people have sex in the wrong context, it makes them stupid. Incredibly stupid.

By "stupid", I mean lacking in judgement, inability to see see and think clearly, inability to see the other person and situation as it really is, placement of your own desires above all else, apathy and disregard for consequences, and a shirking of responsibility.

By "context", I mean marriage. Yes, I'm taking the unpopular, seemingly-prude, seemingly-old-fashioned stance. But I'm doing so strongly and unapologetically. So shoot me.

Sex is a binding, sacred and beautiful force, created to be shared exclusively between a man and a woman in the right context. But taken outside this context, it is dangerous and destructive.

Like anything taken in excess or abused in the wrong context, it will take a powerful hold on your life. And it will kill you. The word "kill" is neither exaggeration nor dramatization.

I've seen a lot. A lot of horribly stupid things that simultaneously break my heart and make me want to strangle people.

Let this be a warning.

*steps off the soapbox*

Thanks, Bizarro Mom!!!

Thanks to Bizarro Mom, I'm going to take lessons in piano improvisation and maybe even the organ!!! I have to stay here. Absolutely have to stay here.

Anders gehts nicht.

*sniff sniff*

Work Update, 11.10.06

The drama is never ending. At work, we either have a ton to do in the sense that we have to calculate and turn in a number/report within a couple of hours, or we're bored. Today's more of a bored-day, so here are some articles from the past week I found to give you an idea of what's going on. I translated the titles into English, but the articles themselves are from German sources.

It can be a cruel, bitter world.

DISCLAIMER: Nothing written here is confidential; all information can be found in various public news sources.

1000 BenQ employees to lose their jobs (Source)

BenQ Confirms drastic personnel reduction (Source)

IG-Metall* calls Siemens to disclose BenQ contracts (Source)

Many BenQ patents are gone (Source)

Insolvency Administrator** brings hope for BenQ employees (Source)

Politics and economics put pressure on BenQ (Source)

BenQ insolvency: Klaus Kleinfeld's*** failure (Source)

As you can tell, there's a ton of drama, complexity and chaos on a myriad of levels between multiple high-powered-players. Players include Taiwan, Germany, BenQ Corp, BenQ Mobile, Siemens, CEOs on both sides, K.Y.Lee, Clemens Joos, Klaus Kleinfeld, Politics, the Bundeskanzlerin, the NR-W Ministerpräsident, the NR-W Wirtschaftsministerin, Economics, Siemens employees throughout Germany, the Betriebsrat, Insolvency Administrators... and that's all I can think of at the moment.

It's neither fun nor pretty.


* a Labour Union fighting for employee's rights and jobs

** Insolvenzverwalter, the new legal CEO

*** the current Siemens CEO

The Resume Post: Education

As most everyone knows, I've been working on my Resume in case something with my current job falls through. It's a long, rough process... and I'd appreciate any feedback. Here's the "Education" section. Let me know what you think.

Education

Texas A&M University, College Station, Texas, USA, 08/01- 12/04
- Major in International Studies with Minors in German and Psychology
- graduated with a “Distinguished Student Certificate” for academic excellence
- worked together with a cruel advisor from the pits of Hades
- organized and coordinated a hitman to deal with aforementioned advisor
- Member of the International Student Organization

Round Rock High School (public school), Round Rock, Texas, USA, graduated 05/01
- Member of Quill and Scroll, a nationally recognized Journalism Society
- Member of the Spanish Club
- Member of the “Students Happy to Get the *bleep* Out of Private School” Club
- received the “University Interscholastic League Scholar Award” for academic excellence
- Participant in car-egging activities and the promotion of banned books
- Features Editor of the School Newspaper


Thanks in advance for your help.

Coming up next... Professional Experience!

Tunnels and Lights

There's definitely a light at the end of the Tunnel. Though I'm afraid I'm still too far away to determine whether it's an opening into a new, bright, sunshiny day or the headlights of an oncoming train about to run me over.

We'll see in a few months. Or weeks. Or days.

*shrugs her shoulders and continues venturing towards the light*

A Short Submarine and Music Story

Once upon a time, there was a yellow submarine that sailed beneath the waves in a sea of green. The crew was a very peaceful, content and musical crew. They loved their little yellow submarine, their music, their daily chocolate rations and their time together.

As a matter of fact, there was even a band on board, and this internationally renowned band played in harbours all over the world. The submarine, the music, and the chocolate had to be financed in some way, after all.

There was a slight problem with some of the instruments, however. A few were slightly out of tune or not up-to-date, and the band also had a Keyboard as opposed to a real piano, which was a huge disadvantage.* The submarine Captain, Sergeant Pepper, recognized the problem, but being the cruel, powerful, greedy creep he was, started secretly looking around for a new Sergeant.

Without consulting the crew or the band, Sgt. Pepper simply sold them one day and joined a red submarine that sailed the sea of blue. The new Captain, Sgt. Dai Zui Fan Xiang (English name: Bobby) came from a Land Far Away and promised that he'd help the musicians tune their instruments and maybe even invest in a real classical grand piano one day. Everyone was a little uncertain, but they didn't have any other choice, so they sailed away in the sea of green with Sgt. Bobby.

The seas they sailed were rough and the waves were wild. There was so much turbulence, in fact, that the submarine almost sank multiple times. Many crew members were sick; the instruments were broken; and the band slowly began to lose their motivation and strength. After a year, Sgt. Bobby, being equally as cruel and greedy as Sgt. Pepper, decided he'd had enough, so he packed up as many instruments as he could carry and flew back to his Land Far Away, where no one could find him.

By this point, the crew was livid. They'd been lied to and tricked, and decided to investigate. What they found was not pretty. Not only did Sgt. Pepper sell them, but he had given Sgt. Bobby 350 thousand mp3 music files and a brand new mp3 player as payment. Sgt. Pepper had also signed a contract stating that many of the instruments and the music that the band had written belong to Sgt. Bobby and not to the band itself. In addition, the band's music-know-how had been stolen: Sgt. Bobby had seen their sheet music, their lyrics, their technical equipment, and their new song ideas.

The crew went into panic, cancelled their upcoming band gigs, and hired a Private Music Guru to advise them what to do next. The Private Music Guru saw the following options: (1) find a new Sergeant for the yellow submarine, (2) find multiple submarine Sergeants who might be interested in buying certain parts of the submarine, (3) carry on as before, but with an unmotivated crew and broken instruments, or (4) let the submarine sink.

In the meantime, the crew will not only give up their music writing and practicing, but they might have to give up their daily chocolate rations for three months as well. Instead of practicing, singing, playing and scrubbing the decks, they're all sitting around sulking, smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee and trying to figure out what to do next.

story to be continued...


*HINT HINT


Story inspired by Yellow Submarine by the Beatles and life's situations

Work Update, 04.10.06

The work atmosphere is horribly depressing. And. I'm. having. a. hard. time. dealing. with. it.

I don't usually get angry, but the current situation really puts me off. So, as usual, I'm coping by turning it into either poetry or a joke.

Anyway. I decided to call Uncle Dubyah today as a last resort.

*ring ring*
Secretary: "Thank you for calling the White House, how may I direct your call?"
Mary: "Hey, it's Mary. Is Uncle Dubyah there?"
Secretary: "Of course, just a second."
*click click click*
President Bush: "Buddy the Elf, what's your favourite colour?"
Mary: "We have a serious situation here!"
Bush: "What's going on, kiddo?"
Mary: "I'm really ticked off at Taiwan."
Bush: "Yeah, I never liked the Middle East that much... ya know, all those crazy Latinos."
Mary: *scratches her head* "Well, I have a new mission for you."
Bush: "Does it involve explosives?"
Mary: "Would you turn Taiwan into a parking lot? Or a landing strip? Or maybe a theme park?"
Bush: "Let me check my calendar..."

And we'll be checking the international news.

Never-never Land

Last night* I somehow ended up in a deserted mansion in Never-never Land. There was this ancient ornately carved wooden piano in the hallway that I unfortunately wasn't able to play, as Wendy, John, Michael and I were being hunted down by evil beady-eyed Taiwanese Business Men**. Fortunately we escaped, thanks to a Narnia-esque Wardrobe filled with mothball-laden clothes, perfect for hiding in.

Peter Pan showed up late... but instead of being a normal-sized human being, he was a little flying green Lego Man.

Tinkerbell was nowhere to be seen.

Life gets weirder by the day (or by the night, should I say?).


*in another bizarre dream of mine

**actually, by Captain Hook and the Crew

Work Update, 02.10.06

Hmm... how do I phrase this to avoid losing my job today as opposed to in a couple of months? Let's just say that the drama and headaches are never-ending. And, fortunately, so is the love and support. So, THANK YOU!

Here are the recent interesting developments*:

- Jürgen Rüttgers, the Ministerpräsident of Nordrhein-Westfallen (comparable to a state governor), was actually at our site on Friday. That's a big deal. And I was ten feet away from him... though he's no competition for Tony Blair.

- The Works Council/Committee (Betriebsrat), IG Metall and some other local politicians also threw a well-deserved hissyfit for the workers and the press on Friday. Ah, riled-up crowds... they're interesting to observe.

- An Insolvency Administrator (Insolvenzverwalter) has taken over the company; all costs and decisions are in his control.

- My co-workers refer to me as Aphrodite. If the Taiwanese can pick out English names for themselves, then my co-workers and I can pick out Greek names, darn it. I originally wanted to be Artemis, but they thought Aphrodite was a better fit.

- Our salaries are guaranteed until December 31, and will be covered by the Employment Bureau (Arbeitsamt).

- Siemens announced Monday that they would help BenQ employees by paying for additional schooling that could be needed for a new job. Um. Thanks. But I'd prefer an actual job.

*sigh*

Two new projects have officially been considered and approved, and will be executed as soon as possible: Project Freak-Out Avoidal and Project New Opportunity Search.

Das Leben ist... em... manchmal ne bissl hart.


*everything I've written has also surfaced somehow, at some point, in the press. I'm not spilling any confidential information here.