Monday, March 13, 2006

My Biomuell is going to kill me in my sleep.

First things first... definitions!

der Biomuell = biological waste

One thing I've always had a hard time dealing with is the fact that Germans separate their trash. In the States, all our trash goes into one trash can. Simple and sweet. Here, however, you're required (it's "geregelt", of course) to separate your garbage into multiple catagories, bins and bags*...

1. Altpapier - includes newspapers, magazines, paper, etc.

2. Verpackung - includes plastic-y things like joghurt containers, wrappers, etc.

3. Kartonsomething - includes papery things, and is somehow differentiated from Altpapier

4. Biomuell - includes anything biological such as plants, food, etc.

5. Glass - there are special bins down the street for glass...
5a. dark glass
5b. clear glass
5c. other glass (help me, Rhonda)

6. Restmuell - whatever doesn't fit into the above categories... an example would be tea lights, I think.

I can deal with categories 1, 2, 3, 5a-c, and 6. But Category 4 is really becoming an issue. I've never seen anything as disgusting as Biomuell in my life... though watching Sydney drink the remains of the liquid whipping cream yesterday came pretty close. And Bizarro Mom told him to! When I was younger, I wanted to drink those little McDonalds creamers (and would sometimes sneak them), but my mother wouldn't allow me to. Child deprivation. If I were in the States, I'd sue and retire early.

Anyway. Back to Biomuell.

It's sitting in a little clear container on my kitchen counter, waiting to be taken out, taunting me every time I walk by. Two apple cores from a couple of weeks ago are in there, and they're completely turquoise and disintigrated. There's even condensation inside the container... it's a sick little environment in there, and I have no choice but to deal with it.

But for some reason, I can't bring myself to open the container and throw it away. The more I procrastinate, the worse it becomes... and the worse it becomes, the more I procrastinate. It's a vicious-Biomuell-cycle, and I don't know how to break free from it.

Last night, as I was laying in bed trying to sleep, I thought I heard something in the kitchen... and I swear it was the Biomuell. Something evil is evolving inside that horrid little tupperware container, and it's terrifying. It's slowly fighting and eating its way out, and I'm afraid that when I least expect it, it's going to attack me.

I need help. Major help.

*to any German friends reading this, feel free to correct me if my categories are wrong. I'm still trying to figure all this garbage all out.

Quote of the day: "Biomuell ate my leg off in Augsburg... I have a wooden leg." - Kenny


Stephanie said...

Another thing that goes in the Restmuell.... an American hair dryer. I put one in the Restmuell when I was studying abroad! Haha! I asked my professor, and he said, "eh, just stick it in Restmuell. I think there's an actual place you take electonics to, but Restmuell will do!" The trash thing bugged me too!!! It was good talking to you the other day!
Bis bald,

Mary said...

Yes! That reminds me... when I first moved here, I threw away my American alarm clock... guess where... in the Restmuell! I made the mistake of plugging it into the wall without a converter... there was a *pop* inside the clock, then this strange diminishing beeping noise, and then some smoke. The stench from the electrical fire hung in the air for hours afterwards... bleh.

It was great talking with you the other day too! Let me know if you find out any more *information*... which reminds me... I have some investigations of my own to do.

Leo said...

Don't worry, I'll kill the Biomuell and take it out for you.