Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Work Update from a Friend


... where do I begin?

So I was talking with a friend the other day, and she's been having a somewhat difficult time at work for the past... well... since she started, actually.  She does have her own blog, but asked me to write about her here because she's afraid of the possible consequences she could face if her Spawn of Hades Boss decides to google her.

Anyway.  It wasn't just the near-death experience last week of almost being killed while taking an innocent cigarette break because a huge metal facing from the top story of the building became unscrewed and crashed to the pavement literally 3 feet away from her.  And it isn't the sexist comments from her co-workers.  Or the imminent integration in which she is taking an active role.  Or the fact that for her 5-year jubilee, her name was spelled incorrectly on the official list.  But rather, it's a combination of thousands of factors which are slowly driving her to madness.

So yesterday she picked up the phone and set up a meeting with someone from the Work's Council to discuss how one goes about getting laid off (without taking slightly more obvious and simple measures such as constantly showing up late, deliberately submitting incorrect figures, or running naked through the lobby when there are important visitors).  Someone's got to arrange her lay-off, so why shouldn't she take the initiative herself?  After all, that's what it's all about, folks: taking initiative, taking charge, getting work done, and getting your own butt laid off when you're sick of your job.  And making sure you get a nice severance payment, of course.

She did feel somewhat guilty today... here she is, ungratefully plotting her escape, when her Boss (in a moment of incommensurable generosity) offered her a chocolate cupcake as a thank-you for her work today.  But she stood her ground - she will not be influenced by chocolate!  A chocolate cupcake does not make up for years of anger, abuse and tears!  No!  She must resist!

So yes, that's what's going on with my friend, my Dear Readers...