Monday, February 08, 2010

Wherefore art Thou, March?

Have I mentioned how glad I'll be when February is over? I've been "alone" at work since the beginning of January*, and pulled off a monthly Book Closing on my own after having been in the States over the weekend for Kat's wedding. I was even pushing 40 hours without sleep... but, it was definitely worth it - I wouldn't have missed her wedding for the world. Let's just say life has taken it's toll on me in the past weeks.

And the fact that I work for a bi-polar German Spawn of Satan doesn't help.

And the fact that I had a sort of crisis last year around this time doesn't help.

And the fact that I spent the weekend crying because of a stupid book doesn't help. But for some reason, I can't stop reading it.

Do you know what would be nice? If I could just take a break from life... maybe a few months or so, or more... I feel like I'm in a glass fish bowl, trapped in murky water, unable to see clearly and unable to get out. I know there's something better, more beautiful, out there somewhere, but I'm so busy struggling to swim and stay alive, and the water is so cloudy, that I'm unable to see beyond the smudgy glass edges. It's not just physical barriers we're talking about... I also feel limited on an intellectual level, which sucks, because there are certain things I almost NEED to understand. Alas... someone ought to pick me up, shake me off, and set me down somewhere peaceful, warm and dry outside of this Universe.

*Germans have an average of six weeks of vacation per year... and my colleague decided to take five weeks off to go to Australia. Though I'm happy for her, it's forced me to live in survival mode for the past month, which has not been pretty.