Thursday, September 29, 2005

Constantines latest post on the BB

Several people have sent me his latest post on the BB, and I just have to comment.

Ok. You all know whats coming. Yes, the CAPS issue. He titled the thread 'I Like Caps.' Allow me to respond in the form of a letter to our dear Mr. Maroulis.

Constantine,
I know our break-up was difficult, but you've really got to let go, Hon. Several months ago, I called everything off because of your unpredictable writing style. Sometimes you'd write in all caps. Sometimes in all lower-case. Sometimes a strange mixture of the two. Sometimes you'd write 'you', but other times simply 'u'. Sometimes youd sign your name 'C' or 'CM', sometimes 'Constantine~~', and once you even wrote 'Constantine James Maroulis'.

Honestly, I need more stability than that. Your unpredictability resulted in some major trust and respect issues, and I really felt it was time to move on. I know you're still upset that I basically ended our relationship because of your all-caps writing, but you've got to let it go. You now have your new girl Kristin, as well as thousands of Betties. You've got to stop making references to me, our relationship, our dramatic break-up and your regrets.

My second concern is the name-dropping. Not cool. Especially when it's names like 'Paris Hilton'. Gah. She's the epitome of pop-culture idiocy, and it's girls like her that make it impossible for women to break free from certain stereotypes we face. If you're going to drop names, at least drop decent, respectable ones.

I'm glad (relieved?) that Athan was with you in LA. A smart man he is.

Leno is this Friday, hmm? For the first time in my life, I wish I had satellite television.

Concerning the car... let me suggest you get a black '65 Mustang. That seems like a good match for you. Not convertible, though.

Very sincerely,
Mary

1 comment:

Rori said...

ROTFL!

Best letter I have seen!