Ah, boys. Whether or not I've found a German boy is a frequently asked question, so I thought I'd give an update (and maybe even stand on my little soapbox for a while - why the heck not?). Plus, I've felt a little pushed, challenged, and put on the defensive in this area lately.
Let's put it this way: the answer to 97.83% of the guy-questions is a resounding "no." And as far as I know, no one whom I'd be interested in is interested in me at the moment.
My goal for being here is not to find a man. Not to be presumptuous, but if I wanted to settle down with someone, I would have stayed in the States. I'm not in any way saying I had a ton of options in the States, or that I left a trail of broken hearts by moving here... what I am saying is this: had boys been my priority, I wouldn't have moved here.
The minute I open my mouth and say words like "Germany" or "overseas" or "missionary" to American boys where there's some degree of mutual interest, the results are identical: they go tearing for the nearest exit. Unrequitted love. Inevitable. I sometimes feel I had to choose, in a way, between two very different dreams and paths.
So, I weighed the options, made a decision, and am running with it.
What's the point? Let's be redundant for the sake of hammering home the point: I didn't move to Germany to chase or find guys. That's never been the goal or motivation, and never will be. Sure, it'd eventually be nice to find someone, but there are other things I need to first learn, experience, deal with and take care of.
So it is.
And so it will go.
*gazes up into sky and steps off the soapbox*
Lyric of the day: "...lend me some fresh air... show me the back door... please open the window..." (Thanks to Alanis).
3 comments:
*tee hee!*
Ok, question time... (I'll e-mail these to you in case you don't see this comment).
1. So, what are you going to do with the number?
2. Do I know of this boy, and would I approve of him??
3. You wrote that you "happened to have a crush" on him... does that mean you still do, or is he past tense? :)
yeah, I want to know about this "Crush" guy too! It's a small world, Emilie.
Kudos, Mary, on thinking things through and coming up with some prorities. I wish I would have been wise enough to do that when I was young.
I'm sure I would have married Neil anyway. Guys like him don't come around that often, but I had such a "wing it" approach to life. Hopefully I have taught my children better.
Thanks for your comment, Karen! (I still feel weird calling you "Karen" as opposed to "Mrs. K."). I'm glad you would have married Neil whether you had a "wing-it" approach to life or not... that's definitely a good sign. And I'm sure you've taught your children well.
I think it's about finding balance. As you know, I was a super-shy, super-paranoid kid... the thought of winging anything was unheard of. On the one hand, we need to carefully think things through and make wise decisions, but on the other hand, we need to proactively (and sometimes rather quickly!) make decisions, which means flying by the seat of your pants at times, you know?
Ah, balance.
And to my Emita - yes, be careful what you publish on the internet... it has a way of coming back to haunt you. Like Biomuell.
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