Time flies when you're having fun

Yes, it's been well over a month since I've last written, and the original deadline was one month, but for some reason I needed a little more time. As most of my Dear Readers know, I have what I refer to as "Phases", and this particular Phase was slightly more horrid than most. But, like any situation in life, you live and learn, and hopefully don't repeat your mistakes. Though I unfortunately have a way of repeating mine, but we won't go there.

In the last couple of days or so, I've been doing rather well, which is an absolute miracle. So well, in fact, that I almost got in a car wreck, semi-overdosed on prescription meds, sewed a cute summer-skirt, refer to one of my best friends as an ass, chew out strangers at the supermarket (darn, I'm seriously turning into a German!), bought a pink ice-cream scoop, and pretty much do what I feel like doing. I've even turned into an occasional-you-know-what, which isn't exactly fabulous, but it's definitely better than bawling continuously. On top of that, I'm a brutal damage-inflicting Priestess when I'm not sitting in the office crunching numbers.

I've debated whether or not I should post some of the things I've had to deal with and think through in my life... in the hope of helping someone else know that they're not alone in their struggles, or know that they can overcome certain struggles.

Thoughts? Opinions? To what extent ought one publish personal crap in the internet? :)

There you have my life update, folks, hot off the press and as exciting as ever.

It's that time again...

... just so everyone knows, I've decided to take a break from writing to figure some stuff out. I'll probably need a month or so.

Scarborough or Cecily?

So... I bought a new car today... it was kind of a spontaneous thing, but I think it was the right decision. Hehe. And now I need a name for her.

I have Issues (and need a Hit-Man)

So I'm going to be brutally honest: this week was absolutely horrid, and I've cried more in the past week than in 2008. At least I know I have a heart... which I was beginning to question because it'd been a tear-free-half-year, which is abnormal for my melancholy self. But alas, the tides, along with the tears, have returned, and there could be another season of cynical poetry and mad creativity.

Why is it that when it hurts the most, you're the most creative? Is it some sort of outlet? Is it some sort of evil joke the Universe plays on you?

I think, though, that I'm moving from the Sad Phase to the Livid Phase, which is an excellent step in a somewhat wrong direction, but at least it's a different direction, and at least I'm adjusting my Hit-List as opposed to my Will. You've got to see the bright side of things.

*Pssst*

I've kind of forsaken my blog lately... it's not as if nothing's going on... there most certainly is... it's just stuff I really ought not publish online. My reputation! My honour! My dignity! My sanity! The irony is that at this point, I could turn about 90% of my life into a best-selling novel. The other 10%, that is, the uninteresting part, is when I'm sleeping without dreaming weird stuff (7.45%) or being my Ninja-Alter-Ego (2.55%).

That's all for now...

Lalala

I love our little Bible Study group, and last Tuesday was especially interesting. The topic was redemption, and we got into a rather heated debate as to whether someone can "lose" their salvation or not, specifically, if they deliberately "choose" to. You know you're in Germany when Bible Study turns into a screaming argument.

And you know you're in the States when the huge black security woman at the airport calls you "baby doll." That's normal.

It feels like I was never even in the States at all. There are half a million things I have to get done, and there's so much going on... it's hard to believe I even had vacation. I feel like I go from one project or one drama to the next, which is of course interesting, but sometimes I imagine how lovely a little peace of mind would be.

Actually, everything is going rather well at the moment. There's no way to see into the future, of course, but I have the feeling that something major is going to change in the next year or two or so. And it's kind of scary. But, to quote my dear Katinka, "It'll all work out."

Sun and Snow

To Whomever it might interest or concern, I made it back safely to Germany. This time, the only drama was having to go tearing through the airport to catch my international flight, and making it there just as everyone was finishing boarding. But I made it, unlike last year. Life gets better every day.

I've been wanting to post some pictures, but have somehow succesfully procrastinated getting anything done (or maybe it's because I'm too busy being my Ninja-Alter-Ego with fiery poisonous darts)... but as soon as I get the pictures uploaded, I'll post them.

The trip back home this year was great - time with my family, a get-together at our house, a trip to Mexico, coffee by the gallon, running through the dark after wild pigs, sunny weather, and of course a ton of cards. What makes me happiest is that everyone is doing well. That's huge.

My first several days back were great, though I'd best leave the highlights unpublished. Today was the perfect first day of work: driving my car an hour through the snow, working 13.5 hours straight, and dealing with a horrid stomach ache. But thanks to a bar of chocolate, I survived.

Sisters

It's the Return of the Barber Girls! :)


And it's amazing how immature we can be when we're finally together again. Fun times. :)

Stupid visa drama

I feel like I've forsaken my blog... I guess it's because quite a bit has been going on, both in my head and in my little world, and I've spent more time thinking and talking than publishing my life stories in the internet. But whatever. Whatever, I tell you. It's all under control.

Why does drama always happen to me? Last night, a friend was here and she was looking at my visa. The conversation was so typical of Life Abroad in Mary's World:

Friend: "Nice Visa."
Mary: "Thanks."
Friend: "Hey, you know your living permit expired two months ago."
Mary: "Crap. What?"
Friend: "Yeah, October 2008."
Mary: "I knew I was forgetting something."

So of course I'm worried that when I LEAVE THE COUNTRY IN THREE DAYS, they're not going to let me back in cause my freaking permit expired. So I spent half the morning frantically calling the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, trying to get stuff straightened out. And now I have to drive to Wesel on Friday morning, the day before I fly. Why me? But at least my life is rarely boring.

By the way, I'm not really a Financial Analyst... I'm a Ninja with firey poisonous darts.

Books and Beauty

So I discovered the Library at the Duisburg-Essen University... it's like a little island of Paradise in a harsh, cold, world. Nah, not really, I'm actually doing surprisingly manically well. And I have a book of Hopkins poetry! Adrenaline rush! Here's an excerpt from Pied Beauty.

Glory be to God for...
...All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise him.

For those who care, my all-time favourite poem is also by him (thus the book choice): The Windhover.

Chocolate!

So... I found chocolate in my mailbox today and I don't know who it's from! There was no note, nothing. But it was definitely some of my favourite chocolate - the kind with strawberry yoghurt, mmm. :) I've already asked several people but no one seems to know anything. I think I have an Admirer. Or someone who wants to poison me.

Perspectives

This is one of my new favourite pictures - it's Maurice and me renovating (or not) at Mariposa's. I call it "Resting after a hard day's work in Essen." But he called it "The Shoot-out." It all depends on how you look at it.

I'd kind of like to change some stuff around in my appartment... for example... painting a Monet mural on the wall, or painting "clouds" on the ceiling.

Politics and Pageants

I think the US Presidential Elections are the men's version of the Miss America Beauty Pageant. If women strive to be beautiful and loved, then Miss America is the Ultimate: she's loved, she's lovely, she's wanted, and all this on an official national level, sealed with a diamond-studded-princess-tiara. What more could a girl want? And if men strive for respect and admiration, then which man wouldn't want to be the President? After all, it's the highest, most respected position in one of the most influential countries in the world.

So, men and women of America, let the competition begin. For women, the most important part of the competition is looking good, whether it be in an every-day-dress, an evening gown, or even no clothes at all. This, my Dear Readers, is the message we want to send our future generation of women. For men, the most important part of the competition is the debate, and out-witting your opponent. You don't even have to say anything intelligent or relevant yourself... as long as you keep the debate going and make your opponent look like an idiot every now and then, then you're doing your job. And you're manly and respected.

I've never been that big into politics... which is odd, because I'm quite the Idealist. Maybe it's because I believe that it's the every-day-people and the little things that make the real, tangible difference, and not some politician. Sure, a politician has influence in the long-run and in the Big Picture... but I'm so trapped in my own Little World that it's sometimes hard to see the Big Picture until years later. Or maybe it's because I'm a frustrated, pessimistic Idealist.

Somebody, stop me

There's been so much going on... life and people and work and blah blah blah. I don't even know where to start.

In a book I just finished, the author described the difference between how men and women think. She used the analogy of a computer screen and various open programs or windows. A woman, for example, simultaneously thinks about multiple things - she'll have various "windows" open, and is unable to close certain windows. A man, on the other hand, tends to have one window open at a time. He'll think about one issue, close the window, and then move on to the next issue. In this sense, I'm 120% woman... and the problem is that I currently have one or two windows that I simply cannot close. It's as if one or two major windows have been opened, and they're crowding everything else in my brain out of the way. And I can't shut them. And I'm distracted and unable to concentrate.

I was talking with a guy friend, and he said that he's able to stop thinking about something, even if it's important to him or it's bothering him or it's unresolved. I'm jealous. I need a brain transplant. If I hadn't lost so much money in investments (*bleeping* financial crisis), maybe I could even afford one.

My Onion Life

I feel like I'm leading multiple lives with multiple identities in multiple dimensions. Sometimes it's kind of fun and interesting, but other times I wish I were more normal and stable. Though in the last several months I've started accepting (and even liking) my own weirdness. That's important.

It's not like a Glass Onion Life... more like a Coloured Onion. I think I need to discover a new colour.

New York from the Ferry

So... which is your favourite photo?


It's real-colour, for the Realists among my Dear Readers. What you see is what you get, you perceive and accept the world as it is, and Imagine is nothing more than a dusty old John Lennon song.



Behold, sepia, arguably for the slightly eccentric, misunderstood, and surprising personalities. It's modern, but old-fashioned. It's almost dark, but not quite. It has a certain beauty to it. It's not sure who it is, and what it's place in the world is.



Ah, the classic black-and-white... it's dark, obscure, foreboding, somber. It can turn a normal city into Gotham City. There's no hope, no escape, no peace, no beauty.



And now, for the Dreamers, the Idealists, the Visionaries among you, I present the tungsten effect. It's Reality on Steroids, it's a manic episode, it's seeing colour in a drab world, it's smiling amidst tears, it's hearing music in a deathly silence.



I think I'm losing my mind..........................

Library of Congress Quotes

Yes, it's 4 in the morning and yes, I'm having trouble sleeping.

And as I can't think of anything better to do at this wee hour, I decided to post some of my favourite quotes I found on the walls of the Library of Congress.

"Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man."

"How charming is divine philosophy."

"Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers."

"Art is long and time is fleeting."

"They are never alone that are accompanied by noble thoughts."

Periwinkle

I feel like there's Beauty in the World again. And Colour. And Goodness. And Hope. Maybe there always is, to a certain extent, and I just so often fail to see it.

A few Vacation Pics

Here are a few favourite pictures from Washington, DC and New York City. :)


Here's Kat with her grocery-shopping-cart, which is very practical given the fact that she doesn't have a car.



We had to visit the Capitol Building, of course...



This would be the Washington Monument, at the end of the National (non-shopping) Mall.



This was taken in the Senator of South Dakota's office... one of Kat's friends works there, so we went by and had lunch in the Cafeteria under the Capitol Building where all the Senators and Representatives eat. I felt important. And I felt like screaming "bomb!" just to see what would happen.



Yup, you've got it... Hillary R. Clinton's office. Not that I'm necessarily a fan... it was just neat being able to peak into her office.



It's my favourite Nurse! :) Yup, my ER Nurse Sister... I'm super proud of her.



Our childhood best friends came to visit us, which was great. It's a miracle we're all alive, and not in prison.



The main room of the Library of Congress was outlined in paintings with clever quotes... I didn't know our country had such an intellectual humour. This was one of my favourites: "They are never alone that are accompanied with noble thoughts."



We went to NY City for the day... this was taken around 2 in the morning at Times Square. Craziness.



Mary Poppins! On Broadway! Life doesn't get much better than that.



Aww, sisters.



It's Mama L. Or Lady Liberty. Is that disrespectful?



New York from the Ferry. :)


I also took a million pictures at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the National Gallery of Art... but I think I'll post those in a different post...

New glasses yeah yeah yeah

As requested... here's a photo of me with my lovely new red-brown glasses. :)


I think they're great - they're the perfect balance between terribly boring and utterly outrageous, which is what I am as well. Maurice, who helped me pick them out, thinks they say "Hi, I'm shy and lack self-confidence"... which... I'm not sure if I agree with or not, given the fact that he almost convinced me to get a pair of knall-green glasses. Red-brown is daring enough for me at this point in my life.