Monday, August 21, 2006

Boys are Evil Creatures (well, some of them, at least)

I fortunately made it through the weekend without running into Stalker Boy, who was in town. One of my friends, who spent Saturday working with him, informed me that he'd asked about me... well, asked about me, depending on how you define "me." Actually, he asked about "Melanie Barber."

Ok, I admit that I'm bad with names. And I'm the first to forgive people who forget my name. But seriously... I'd think that a guy who called me two to four times a day for a week and a half straight, forced me to screen my calls and go into cardiac arrest every the phone rang, hunted down my work number and called unexpectedly during work, showed up uninvited at my appartment, asked multiple people if I was ok and why I wasn't returning his phone calls, suggested he spend his day off in Neukirchen, suggested we go to Holland together, and suggested we go to the Black Forest together would at least remember my freaking name.

I'm not Melanie. Or Martha. Or Melissa. Or Margaret. Or Artemis-Diana. It's Mary, so if you happen to be a guy who's going to stalk me, then at least get the name right, YOU CREEP.

And some advice to stalkers: remembering the name is key. After all, if you don't know the name, how can you find someone's address if they've moved to avoid you? And how can you track down their phone number when they've changed it to avoid your phone calls?

It's common sense, my pretty little stalkers, common sense.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hilarious. :-)

Mary Elizabeth said...

Pathetic. :)