International Traveling in Covidian Times

With all the craziness going on in the world, I decided to start documenting some of my experiences here in Germany again.  For the first time in almost two years (#covid), I was able to visit my family in Texas... and the comparison between the two countries was particularly interesting. 

Just a little background... here in Berlin we've had what we call a "3G" rule for months... meaning you have to be "geimpft" (vaccinated), "genesen" (recovered) or "getestet" (tested) to do even simple things like sit down and eat at a restaurant. Masks are also required indoors, and even outdoors in some of the busiest areas of town.

For larger and non-essential events and some shops, there is even the "2G" rule, meaning you have to be "geimpft" or "genesen".  This basically excludes everyone who is not Covid-vaccinated.  I even missed a Coldplay concert last year because I wasn't "2G" at the time.

In order to fly to the US, Superman (Dirk, my husband, will be referred to as Superman on this Blog <3) and I had to pay 100 Euros each for a PCR Covid test.  The test was checked by Germany security personell in both Berlin and Frankfurt. But when we landed in Houston, not ONE person asked about our vaccine status or Covid tests.  And not everyone was wearing masks.  It was literally like entering a different world, or taking a trip to the "pre-Covid" past. 

After two weeks of freedom... no 2G/ 3G rules... eating out... no mask mandates (though we wore masks indoors just to be safe and respectful)... we returned to the dark winter of Germany, which was quite the adjustment. Meanwhile in Berlin, the 2G rule has been implemented for everything except grocery stores, drugstores, doctors and banks. So basically if you're not Covid-vaccinated, you can't even enter a shoe store to buy new shoes... or go to the tailor to get something fixed... or go to the clothes store to buy new underwear. But hey, at least the government still lets you buy food, so stop complaining and #getVaccinated!

In order to return to Germany, I had to get a Covid test, but Superman didn't (he's vaccinated). So I paid 200 USD for a same-day PCR test in order to fly back to Berlin. The interesting thing is, that absolutely NO ONE checked the test - neither in Texas nor in Germany. 

Houston Check-in Agent: "You're flying to Germany...? Emmm...? Let me check..."

Me: "I need a test, but my husband doesn't because he's vaccinated..."

Agent: *walks over and whispers with his manager"

Me: *tries not to panic*

Agent: "Ok, you're fine to go."

Me: "Perfect, do you need to see my test?  I have it here."

Agent: "No, you're fine."

When we arrived in Germany and went through border control, no one checked it either... which makes me wonder why I literally spent 200 USD on a Covid test that no one even looked at.  Especially if the situation in Germany is so horribly dangerous that a non-Covid-vaccinated person can't even sit down for a cup of coffee in an empty bakery.  And 200 USD is a LOT of money - that's like 130 Sonic drinks... or 500 Lindt chocolate balls... or a Lego modular building... or 11 Thomas Kinkade puzzles.

Anyway.  The actual flight was relatively uneventful, except for the fact that a young man passed out and had to be revived in the isle right next to my seat. Why? Because of lack of oxygen due to wearing a mask for a 10-hour flight. After the flight attendant found a doctor on board and they got the poor young man on oxygen, the crew was gracious enough to let him go maskless for the rest of the flight. 

The only reason I managed to not pass out was because I ate and drank almost the ENTIRE time... hey, I might have gained 10 pounds on the flight but at least I could breathe like a normal pre-Covid person.

Despite some slight travel drama, the trip back home was absolutely FABULOUS, for both Superman and me. We had a wonderful time with my family; there were quite a few interesting activities; and Superman was able to experience Thanksgiving for the first time in the US.

Changes

A few weeks ago, I booked my Christmas flight to China, and can't help but think about where I was last year at this time.  And let me tell you... the difference is night and day.  Last year around this time, a few critical things happened that started a process of change in my life... and the stark contrast between last Fall and this Fall is crazy.  Sometimes you don't realize how bad a situation was until you've gotten out of it, and a certain amount of time has gone by.

Here are a few changes I've noticed... 

Dreading the weekends --> actually looking forward to the weekends

Being told to stop texting/ calling --> being chewed out for NOT calling when I needed help

Having drunk guys crash my place at all hours of the night --> being able to sleep peacefully

Being sad/ frustrated about flying home "alone" over Christmas --> being excited about Christmas vacation!

Getting calls from friends stuck in prison --> getting calls from friends stuck in traffic

Getting graphically bloody pictures from friends after a street fight --> getting gorgeous pictures from friends on vacation in Singapore, Bali, Mallorca, etc...

Constantly fighting and crying --> only crying when it's absolutely necessary... or crying happy-tears!

Feeling like a 5th wheel --> actually feeling like a few people here like me

Having to re-paint cause a door frame splintered in a fight --> peacefully re-arranging my lego collection

Not being able to use my own bathroom cause a drunk guy passed out in it --> using my own bathroom at my convenience

Constantly dealing with negative comments about my appearance --> wearing the brightest, flowery-est, clashy-est clothes that I want!

Being a human bank --> being taken out to dinner every now and then

Being a taxi for drunk people --> being chauffeured every now and then

Repeatedly being cancelled on --> doing things with people who actually want to hang out with me

Watching soccer every freaking weekend --> not even realizing it's soccer season

Talking about soccer and street fights 99% of the time --> talking about God, ethics, politics, culture, social issues, art, etc.

Being told to shut up and stop singing in the car --> singing Karneval-duets and 90s music in the car

Going nowhere and doing nothing --> taking advantage of everything interesting going on in Berlin!

Taco Disaster...

So… I had a Boy over the other day, and even made tacos… which is a big deal for me, as cooking is definitely not one of my fortes.  Especially cooking for someone else.  Especially for a Boy.  I had been craving tacos for a few weeks, though, and figured he might like to try something Tex-Mex… so I went for it.  But alas… he didn’t really like them.  He found them "interesting."  How can someone not really like tacos?  I’m so confused.  Every normal person likes tacos… and tacos should be a staple in every household.  A dislike of tacos is comparable to not liking oxygen.  Or showers.  Or sunlight.  There are some things that human beings simply need.

Anyway.  At least he was still able to carry on an interesting conversation, despite having to simultaneously force the tacos down.  Which is positive, so I’ll at least give him some credit for that. 

I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t enjoy a good taco.  We used to have tacos every single Sunday for lunch!  So this situation has definitely thrown me for a loop, and is making me question everything I’ve ever taken for granted in life.  It’s certainly going to be quite the challenge being friends with someone who would prefer to eat bamboo than tacos.

Obama in Berlin...

One of my favorite things about Berlin is that there is ALWAYS something going on.  There's rarely a dull moment.  The past couple of days have been pretty crazy here, thanks to a farewell visit from Mr. Obama himself. Basically, the entire city center was on lockdown for 2.5 days... police and tanks were everywhere,  public transportation was delayed/ canceled/ re-routed, and much of Berlin was turned into a temporary no-fly zone.  This might be normal for city-kids... but not for this suburb-raised girl.  It was definitely exciting following what was going on, and seeing how a city operates when top leaders visit.

As most of you know, I live about 5 minutes from the Tegel Airport and drive past it on my way to work.  Wednesday evening when Obama arrived, I knew it was pointless to even try to drive home... so I asked a friend who works downtown if he wanted to meet up and see what's going on!  The entire street leading to the Brandenburger Tor was blocked off, and there were police and barricades in all of the adjacent streets.  So you couldn't even see the main street... and only people who live or work there were permitted access.  It was so intimidating that I was too scared to even take a picture!

Then, on Friday afternoon at work, I suddenly saw two black military helicopters circling around (picture below)... evidently accompanying Air Force One!  Unfortunately I didn't actually see Air Force One, as it was a rather cloudy afternoon... but I did hear it!  Exciting stuff!  

If it were to happen on a daily basis, I'd probably be annoyed with the traffic and interruptions... but observing everything from afar for a limited amount of time was definitely interesting.

#Berlin #ObamaBerlin

Family Reunion in Berlin!

My favorite guy in the universe was in Berlin a few weeks ago!  Although he was here on "business", we still had some great times and talks together!  It's crazy thinking about all the places we've been together... we've really been all over the globe.  And of course, whenever he's in Europe, we have to meet up.  Nanjing... Amsterdam... Brussels... Basel... #Berlin... been there, done that.  :)

At the Brandenburger Tor... :)

And at the capitol building...

Here's a team picture... these were some amazing people, and it was a very encouraging couple of days with them.  God is doing some #crazyShit here in Berlin!

Berlin Pub Talk

Last evening was quite eventful... an acquaintance works in political/ social media, and asked if I wanted to tag along to a discussion forum.  The topic was hate speech in social media, and how to deal with it as both an organization and individual.  It was all super interesting, with a good mixture of guest panelist monologues and audience participation (or interruption, in some cases :D ).  This was definitely a much different group of people than the groups I normally associate with... let's just say the evening was started off with the moderator welcoming the "speakers of the press"... and me shifting nervously in my chair, hoping no one would notice the stray financial analyst in the room who can't even identify the current US Secretary of Defense.

One of the most interesting discussions concerned the extent of free speech on Facebook in Germany vs. the US.  Of course it's always entertaining hearing people talk about the US, and hearing an outsider's opinion of "my" country.  Evidently there's quite a bit more tolerance of online free speech in the US than there is in Germany... so the big question for the German social media leaders is:  to what extent should an American service provider (i.e Facebook) cater to German laws?  Is it Facebook's responsibility to tailor their product based on the country in which their service is?  Or is it the country's responsibility to deal with it, create their platforms, etc.?  

Another observation is that my German definitely isn't as good as I thought it was... I feel kind of like I did when I first moved to Germany and had an extremely difficult time with the "church lingo."  These are the types of words you just aren't exposed to in school, and definitely have to learn as you go.  So this is a much-needed challenge, as I always love learning something new and haven't really been pushed or challenged on an intellectual level in a while.  Score!!  :D

Anyway.  How do you know you're in a room full of social media gurus and journalists?  By comments such as these...

*spoken in panic*  "Does anyone know what the #hashtag for tonight is?  Do we have an official #hashtag?!"

"I haven't tweeted my location tonight... I don't want any trolls showing up."

"OMG!  The Russian press office re-tweeted me!!!"

#pubtalk #socialmedia

Blast to the Past!

Last weekend, I was in my old hometown for a very long weekend!  It was weird being back there, seeing old friends, being so close to my old work, and driving the familiar Autobahn routes.  Though I love it in Berlin, I think western Germany will always feel like home, in a way.  After all, I spent 8 years of my life there... had my first professional job there, my first apartment, my first car.  Here are a few impressions from my time back "home."


On Saturday, I saw my old coworker at Photokina - the biggest imaging trade show, where both Canon and Zeiss had stands, of course!  Ahhh - worlds colliding!  It was so much fun getting to see her again.  :)  She even said they're looking for someone in Finance... hmmm.... :)


One of the bridges leading to the Kölner Dom is completele covered in locks... it's beautiful how bright they are - glistening in the sun!


*bling bling*


Lego needs to create a Kölner Dom set... just my humble opinion...


Yes... we climbed the 500+ steps to the top... yes, it was creepy... yes, we were out of breath... yes, I need to start exercising... yes, it was extremely high... yes, I envisioned it crumbling to the ground... yes, it was definitely worth it!  :)


Next stop... the Lindt Chocolate Museum!  My favorite part was the production line... and of course the samples at the end. :)


It's snack time!

I also visited one of my all-time best friends from back "home", but unfortunately don't have any pictures... I'll blame it on her four-year-old who kept distracting me and correcting me German... or her two-year-old who kept peeing all over the floor... or her 6-month-old who was terrified of me and would inevitably start screaming if I even looked at her.  Needless to say... it was a crazy, busy, amazing visit!


#Cologne #Köln #NRW #Photokina #Schokoladenmuseum

Lollapalooza 2016

So... one of the September Highlights was the Lollapalooza music festival here in Berlin.  And as Lindsey Stirling was there, I of course had to go!


It's Lolla time!  This was probably the most expensive bracelet I've ever worn...


Lindsey!  She's by far one of my favorite performers of all time.  Her music is great, and she has so much energy on stage.  She played a great mix of some old songs as well as songs from her new album.


The Kaiser Chiefs!  They were hilarious... I don't think I've ever seen a goofier or smart-aleck-ier lead singer.  We were dying laughing!  I would definitely see them again...


Ah, the Chainsmokers... honestly... they were so-so.  They did have some good beats and remixes... but the transitions from one song to the next were anything but smooth, and practically non-existent.  Also, the remix clips that they did were so short... I felt like they were moving from one song to the next every several seconds.. without any real thought-out transitions.  But I did hear their new single, which is one of my current favorite pop songs... "Don't let me down."


Last, but not least... Kings of Leon!  They were also amazing!  Though by the time they were on stage, I was pretty tired of standing and jumping around... :D


Yeah... this pretty much sums it up!  :D  Though I didn't "repeat"... one day was definitely enough.


#Lollapalooza #LollaBerlin #Berlin #TreptowerPark #LindseyStirling #KaiserChiefs #Chainsmokers #KingsofLeon #NeverAgain

Tegel Sunsets

One of my all-time favourite places here in Berlin is the Tegeler Sea... it's about a 20-minute walk from my apartment, and I'll go there every chance I get!  To get to the sea, you first walk through a beautifully quaint pedestrian zone, which contains enough ice cream shops to make any girl with an out-of-control sweet-tooth more than happy.  This weekend, a friend and I spent the evening there taking a boat ride, watching the sunset, walking along the water, and of course indulging in Indian food and cocktails.  Here are a few favorite Tegel sunset pictures from the past couple of weeks!

And of course the "real reason" I love going to Tegel...

Ophthalmologist Appointment

Bizarre experiences with doctors are obviously not limited to NRW… they also run rampant in Berlin, and have been a topic of discussion here in the office this week.  A few days ago, my colleague’s boyfriend evidently had a headache.  As you can pretty much only get herbal teas, cough drops and children’s aspirin over the counter here, he decided to go to the doctor.  Instead of prescribing him some… say… *scratches her head*… *thinks about the options*… Ibuprofen or Tylenol or Aspirin, they rush him to the hospital and do all these head scans.  And require him to spend the night there.  For a HEADACHE!  German doctors obviously have difficulties dealing with headaches… last time I went to the doctor after having a headache and sore throat for 5 days, I was sent to the neurologist with a migraine diagnosis.  Though really all I needed were antibiotics because I had strep throat.  Good call, socialized medicine.

Anyway… this week, I had an appointment with an ophthalmologist.  Why?  Because my optometrist recommended it, a friend who works at an eye clinic recommended it, I hadn't been in 5+ years, and my vision basically changed over night.  Those should be good enough reasons, right?  Nope.  Not for this ophthalmologist in Berlin.  After waiting for 45 minutes (although I was the second person on the day's waiting list), the appointment lasted about 1 minute... because that's basically the amount of time the doctor needed to tell me not to show up again until I'm in my forties.  Evidently routine check-ups aren't necessary until then.  And evidently you're not supposed to go to the ophthalmologist unless you have an acute problem.  And it's evidently normal for your vision to change.  Over night.  

So I took one last look at the lovely Zeiss Visulas YAG III, thanked the doctor for her time, and told the receptionist I'd be back in about a decade.  Adios.

#ophthalmology #socializedmedicine #doctor #carlzeiss #berlin

Translation Project 2016

So... it's time for another *drum roll*... Translation Project!  After probably not enough thought, and a little push from Dad, I started talking with a guy from back home.  I'd like to live in the States at some point when I grow up, so why not talk with an American Boy?  We hung out (he was in Berlin) and wrote for no more than a couple of months, and it was one of the most bizarre things I've ever experienced.  I've seen a lot... but I have never seen anyone so all over the map, and have never gotten so many mixed signals.  In retrospect, I feel like I finally understand what he was trying to tell me... so here goes...

"I really want to see you again - let's meet in London!"  =  "Sometimes I would somehow like to meet someone (preferably female) somewhere someday and do something."

"I'd really like to get together with your parents when I'm in Austin next month."  =  "I really want to get together with some chic's parents at some point."

"I'm not interested in playing games."  =  "Having you book an international non-refundable ticket, and then cancelling doesn't count as a game.  That's life."

"Come visit me in Boston - I'll use my frequent flyer miles to fly you out here!"  =  "I kinda want an In-N-Out Burger."

"It's important for the man to be the leader and take initiative."  =  "Why don't you jump on this out-of-control emotional roller-coaster with me... and we can crash and burn!"

"I'm looking for [insert various characteristics] in a wife."  =  "I've got a date with another chic next week."

"Let's agree to always communicate openly and honestly."  =  "Why don't you go ahead and pour your heart out and I'll just kinda tell you what you want to hear."

"Work is kind of stressing me out."  =  "YOU are kind of stressing me out."

"Yeah, I need some space to figure things out."  =  "Check out my drama on facebook."

"I'm a Calvinist."  =  "I'm part of a super secret group of Elect... kinda like my first-class status with Delta Airlines.  Who needs church and other people when you've been hand-picked for limited atonement?"

"I really like you."  =  "I really like the idea of a girlfriend.  It has nothing to do with you personally."

I really like you."  =  "I really like a good bbq."

"I really like you."  =  "I think I'd make a good beat-boxer."

Ok... that might have been kind of mean... but then again, reality can be cruel.  And I'd rather laugh about it than be upset about it.  :)

#sorrynotsorry #relationships #americanboys #indecisive #wtf #london #justkidding #mixedsignals

Sony Center

This weekend, we were at an art exhibit in the Sony Center!  There was everything from oils to collages to photography to sculpture... mostly from local artists.  We weren't allowed to take pictures of most of the work... so I can't really post anything here... but what I do have are a couple of pictures of the Sony Center!

Looking up at the "tent"... it was a bright and beautiful day!  (Until it started raining).



Here's a view of the DB (Deutscher Bahn) building taken from inside the Sony Center... being tucked in between the sky scrapers always makes me feel like a little kid visiting a big city for the first time.  It's still breath-taking!



And of course one of the best parts of the day... a spaghetti ice cream with cherries and white chocolate!  So good!


Lately I've been extremely thankful for my developing friendships here.  It's great being around people with shared interests, who are at a similar stage in life, and who have similar beliefs.  Don't know what I would do without this amazing group of girlies!

#berlin #sonycenter #summer #icecream

Berlin and Blogging

It's certainly been a while... but for some reason I've recently had the urge to start writing again.  Maybe because there have been so many exciting things going on in life.  Maybe it's because I feel like I'm at least trying to get back on track spiritually and emotionally for the first time in years.  And maybe it's because I had chocolate ice cream for breakfast this morning.  But whatever the reason, for the first time in years I feel like I'm at least trying to get on the right path again, and actually have some interesting things to write about.

As most of you know, I moved to Berlin about 2.5 years ago.  It was a crazy step, and although there have been some rough times and quite a few ups and downs. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.  Several people have asked if I've regretted the move, as not everything has turned out as anticipated.  But I definitely haven't.

Here are a few observations of Berlin, to kick-start the Blog again...

People are generally proud to be here.  Whether they've been born and have grown up here, or have landed a job and moved here, people are proud to be living in this city.

It's very rough-around-the-edges... from the construction to the graffiti to the vending machines with disposable needles.

There's always something interesting going on!  Concerts, art exhibits, fireworks, demos, markets, fights, and the list goes on...

You can hear American English everywhere!  I used to have to go to the airport and eavesdrop to get my AE fix...

People run red lights here worse than in Texas (I didn't realize this was even possible).

In general, people on the streets and in the stores seem somewhat unhappy, rushed and preoccupied.  They also look at you weird if you say "hello."

There are still hard feelings between the East-Germans and West-Germans.

The city never sleeps!  People enjoy walking their dogs at 2am,..

It's super multi-culti!  The mix of people, cultures, languages, and food definitely keeps things interesting... sometimes a little too interesting... :)

#berlin #culture

Apartment Renovation Pics!

So... here are a few pictures of the progress we've made in my new apartment... especially for my curious Mother...  :)

Here's the lovely kitchen that we found on Ebay... as most of you know, in Germany apartments are usually rented without a kitchen.  Meaning you have to purchase, construct, and install it yourself.  We found one for a pretty good deal, including all appliances (fridge, dishwasher, oven).  About a week ago, Opi constructed it, and here's the end result:

And here's a picture from the other side.  Please excuse the mess.

Here you can see Opi working on the laminate in the living room... it's a really gorgeous "white oak."  :)

And he finished it!  Also notice the lavender walls - I mixed the colour (white and purple), and painted it (mostly) myself. :)

And last but not least, here's a picture of the bedroom after we put wall-paper up.  That whole process was totally fascinating - I never knew how that was done... but let me tell you, that was some fun, sticky stuff.

That's all for now!  We're going to work on the apartment this weekend some more, so more pictures will be coming up soon!

Chocolate Overdose

I've got a fever... and the only prescription is more chocolate!!!

This was a "thank you" from my soon-to-be-in-Kuwait-friend... I've helped him practice English a few times, and he knows I have a weakness for chocolate.  He wasn't sure which chocolate bar to pick, so he simply took one of every single kind.  What a brilliant solution.  :)

Barber Family Reunion in Amsterdam!

A few weeks ago, I got a very-surprising e-mail from Dad saying that he has a Benelux trip planned.  Not much can get him to Europe, so when he's here (and within a couple of hours driving-distance), I definitely have to go visit him.  : )  I think my boss also realized that he didn't really have a choice when it came to approving my vacation day...

So here are a few photos from our day together in Amsterdam.

Here he on a bridge overlooking the Amstel, a river that runs all through town (Amsterdam is like an xxx version of Venice).


 

This was taken in front of Rembrandt's house / studio / shop... Rembrandt is one of Dad's favourite artists, so we had to check this place out.  One of the coolest things here was a still-life painting, and directly underneath the painting was a glass display case containing the exact artifacts that he had painted!  The same objects, colours, discrepancies... weird stuff.

 

 

 



Here I am in the Rembrandt house, next to a somewhat older map of Amsterdam.  Please take careful note of my new magenta purse strap!

 

 

 

 

We called this part of city the "Times Square of Amsterdam."   :)  On the left are several restaurants - we had dinner at the Mexican/Argentinian place.  Yum.  

 

 

 

And last but not least, I had to take a picture of this shop where they sell "Fantaseeds."  And we're not talking about normal seeds for a vegetable garden.

 

 

 

So what's the moral of the story?  If a Barber-Family-Member can't make it to Texas or if a Barber-Family-Member can't make it to Germany, then simply meet somewhere in the middle, like Amsterdam.

Work Update from a Friend

Hmm...

... where do I begin?

So I was talking with a friend the other day, and she's been having a somewhat difficult time at work for the past... well... since she started, actually.  She does have her own blog, but asked me to write about her here because she's afraid of the possible consequences she could face if her Spawn of Hades Boss decides to google her.

Anyway.  It wasn't just the near-death experience last week of almost being killed while taking an innocent cigarette break because a huge metal facing from the top story of the building became unscrewed and crashed to the pavement literally 3 feet away from her.  And it isn't the sexist comments from her co-workers.  Or the imminent integration in which she is taking an active role.  Or the fact that for her 5-year jubilee, her name was spelled incorrectly on the official list.  But rather, it's a combination of thousands of factors which are slowly driving her to madness.

So yesterday she picked up the phone and set up a meeting with someone from the Work's Council to discuss how one goes about getting laid off (without taking slightly more obvious and simple measures such as constantly showing up late, deliberately submitting incorrect figures, or running naked through the lobby when there are important visitors).  Someone's got to arrange her lay-off, so why shouldn't she take the initiative herself?  After all, that's what it's all about, folks: taking initiative, taking charge, getting work done, and getting your own butt laid off when you're sick of your job.  And making sure you get a nice severance payment, of course.

She did feel somewhat guilty today... here she is, ungratefully plotting her escape, when her Boss (in a moment of incommensurable generosity) offered her a chocolate cupcake as a thank-you for her work today.  But she stood her ground - she will not be influenced by chocolate!  A chocolate cupcake does not make up for years of anger, abuse and tears!  No!  She must resist!

So yes, that's what's going on with my friend, my Dear Readers...

It's Official: Germany ist a First World Country!

For those of you who keep up with international headlines, I'm sure you're aware of this already (or is my blog the first news source to officially announce it?) - but Germany has finally achieved the status of being a First World Country.  Amazing.  But how have they finally reached this goal?  What was the turning point?  What consequences will this have on travel, the economy, import/export and international relations?

Well, my Dear Readers, it's all due to Lip Smackers, the best brand of lip gloss in the world, and a trademark of developed First World Countries.  Kids, don't believe everything your Textbooks (or the internet) tells you: forget the Gross National Product and the Human Developtment Index!  The real indicator of developtment, and the most crucial factor in the definition of a First World Country is Strawberry-Kiwi Lip Smackers!

This afternoon I was out and about with a friend, and we discovered Lip Smackers for the first time in a German store.  Of course they didn't have the assortment that they have in the US, but this is forgivable - at least they've taken a step in the right direction.  Here is proof, my Dear Readers, that Coca-Cola Lip Smackers is now being sold in Germany:

Though this is a major step for Germany, the consequences on the US economy could be detrimental.  I am, after all, most likely the #1 US Customer.  This means that instead of stocking up on the Party Packs over Christmas, I might resort to purchasing Lip Smackers soley in Germany.  Hopefully the US companies will survive this incredible loss of turnover and be able to rebound without too many lay-offs.

That said, I would like to officially congratulate the Germans on their tremendous achievement, their hard work, and their investment in the future.  I would also like to encourage them to continue on this brave path, to continue taking these important steps forward, and to slowly broaden their horizons to not only offer Coca-Cola lip gloss, but also Dr. Pepper lip gloss, or fruity lip glosses, or maybe even glitter lip gloss.  The possibilites are unlimited.  The future is open.  Carpe Diem.

And she's (maybe, hopefully, who knows?) back!

Yes, my Dear Readers, it's been quite a while, but I might be back. There's nothing like a good wake-up call to make you remember the important things in life... and for me, it took 2.5 weeks of being bed-ridden to realize what's important... and that is, mocking anything and everything around me through an online blog that about 2-3 people read (hi Mom!). Ok, that sounds somewhat cynical... maybe we shouldn't call it "mocking", but "educated cultural commentary." Or something along those lines.

In light of the current US elections, I'd like to give you all a taste of what it's like to live in a country with socialized medicine. Why? Because Obama-Care needs to be voted OUT in the upcoming election.

Like I wrote, I've been sick for 2.5 weeks. Why? Because my doctor is too incompetent to diagnose a simple bacterial infection. She was convinced I had a migraine (although I only had one of the migraine symptoms*) and sent me to the neurologist, who sent me to the pharmacist, who told me to drink a strong cup of coffee because caffeine will cure any headache. Well, the coffee didn't really help, and after visiting the neurologist twice, he sent me back my original doctor, who then told me I was probably just feeling bad due to the weather or because of something "psychological" she can't fix.

Mary: "How can it be the weather? I've felt horrible for over two weeks now."
Doctor: "For some people it just takes longer to get used to the weather. Or maybe it's something psychological?"
Mary: "How should I know?"
Doctor: "Well how should I know?"
Mary: "If you don't know, then who can help me?"
Doctor: "How should I know? I know as much as you."
Mary: "Then check me in to the hospital for all I care, and they'll do a complete investigation."
Doctor: "Frau Barber, I'm not sending you to the hospital for a headache and a little nausea and dizziness."
Mary: "But it's been going on over two weeks. Then what about an antibiotic?"
Doctor: "Well your throat does look pretty bad, I guess I could prescribe you an antibiotic."
Mary: "Fabulous. And what if it's not better next week?"
Doctor: "Of course it'll be better by next week. It's an antibiotic."

Honestly folks, although it's great to be able to go to a doctor, what's the point of going to doctors who give you the wrong diagnoses and don't give a ****? Then I can just as well stay home and stay uninsured. But that's socialized healthcare for you.

Personally, I'd prefer no doctor than a socialized doctor who doesn't give a **** about their patients. And I'd prefer no diagnosis than a false diagnosis. And I'd prefer no medication than the wrong medication. So in the upcoming election, let's vote Obama-Care OUT!  Save the US from socialized health care!

And thanks again, Mom, not only for checking in with me on a daily basis, but also for the absentee voter card!  Hahaha!



*a headache

They did WHAT?

Given the recent world events, I suddenly feel the urge to re-awaken my blog and give my two-cents-worth. After all, it's not every day that one of the most powerful nations in the world executes a stealth operation, undetected by local military forces, assassinating the most-wanted terrorist of modern times. When I first read the news, it shocked me...

Euro-Mary: "Oh my goodness, typical America! What have they done? What are they thinking?"
US-Mary: "Emmm..."
Euro-Mary: "That's just not normal... assassinating someone, dumping his body into the Arabian Sea, openly admitting it on public television, and being fully supported by the entire nation..."
US-Mary: "But murdering thousands of innocent people as a self-proclaimed terrorist-mastermind isn't exactly normal, either..."
Euro-Mary: "But is that right? Is that justice?"
US-Mary: "This is WAR."

One thing that surprised me is the reaction of most Germans I've talked to... for some reason I expected most people here to be somewhat skeptical and even appalled with the recent events (as I was at first), but that's definitely not the case. Even the German Chancellor was quoted saying she supports the actions of the US. Ok, one could argue that it's due to their love-affair with Obama... if Bush had authorized such an assassination, the reaction would have been somewhat different (think: anti-American hate-Fest)... hmm...

Sure, there are many unanswered questions, which is great feed for conspiracy theorists, which is great reading for me when my co-worker is on a cigarette break and I don't really feel like working, either. But seriously, folks, how could Osama be camping out in a mega-fortress in the backyard of the Pakistani-Westpoint-Equivalent for years without the ISI realizing it? And did the US-Government really execute this mission, or was it Aliens? After all, the "helicopters" were undetected in the Pakistani airspace, able to conduct a 40-minute raid without military interference. Brilliant. This is ample proof that Extraterrestrials actually conducted the assassination. Why haven't photos of the corpse been released? Were vegetables the only things grown in the self-sufficient Waziristan compound gardens, or was Marijuana also involved? How could accurate DNA-tests be conducted in such a short time? Should a trial have been held? What did Osama do in his spare time without television and internet access? Wouldn't that be dreadfully boring? And the list of questions goes on...

Questions aside, I've got to hand it to the US Government for taking such swift and deliberate action here... which is something I wouldn't expect from the Obama administration (unless the issue is destroying the country's health care system).

Go Amis.