Tuesday, August 21, 2012

It's Official: Germany ist a First World Country!

For those of you who keep up with international headlines, I'm sure you're aware of this already (or is my blog the first news source to officially announce it?) - but Germany has finally achieved the status of being a First World Country.  Amazing.  But how have they finally reached this goal?  What was the turning point?  What consequences will this have on travel, the economy, import/export and international relations?

Well, my Dear Readers, it's all due to Lip Smackers, the best brand of lip gloss in the world, and a trademark of developed First World Countries.  Kids, don't believe everything your Textbooks (or the internet) tells you: forget the Gross National Product and the Human Developtment Index!  The real indicator of developtment, and the most crucial factor in the definition of a First World Country is Strawberry-Kiwi Lip Smackers!

This afternoon I was out and about with a friend, and we discovered Lip Smackers for the first time in a German store.  Of course they didn't have the assortment that they have in the US, but this is forgivable - at least they've taken a step in the right direction.  Here is proof, my Dear Readers, that Coca-Cola Lip Smackers is now being sold in Germany:

Though this is a major step for Germany, the consequences on the US economy could be detrimental.  I am, after all, most likely the #1 US Customer.  This means that instead of stocking up on the Party Packs over Christmas, I might resort to purchasing Lip Smackers soley in Germany.  Hopefully the US companies will survive this incredible loss of turnover and be able to rebound without too many lay-offs.

That said, I would like to officially congratulate the Germans on their tremendous achievement, their hard work, and their investment in the future.  I would also like to encourage them to continue on this brave path, to continue taking these important steps forward, and to slowly broaden their horizons to not only offer Coca-Cola lip gloss, but also Dr. Pepper lip gloss, or fruity lip glosses, or maybe even glitter lip gloss.  The possibilites are unlimited.  The future is open.  Carpe Diem.

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