Well, we did it. I played (and by "played", I mean "butchered") a prelude during the church service as well as lead three songs with Helmut. Though it was nerve-wracking, I'm glad we did it... and hopefully next time will be easier and smoother.
It was so weird... the prelude started off just fine, but as I was playing, my mind began to wander and I started to freak out. All at once, if was as if I simply couldn't play anymore and my hands started shaking... so... yes... I stumbled over some notes (by "some notes", I mean "three stanzas and a complicated run that I'd been able to play consistently perfectly until Sunday morning"). It's really a vicious cycle - when I'm nervous and make mistakes, I tend to play faster, which makes me mess up even more. Instead I ought to slow. it. down. Ah well. So, of course, the entire sermon I'm agonizing and beating myself up in my head about it when I know that it really doesn't even matter. Let it go. No one's perfect.
As I was thinking, I concluded that messing up could actually be good for my ol' ego. If I had played everything perfectly, I'd probably be proud of myself. Instead, I was slightly horrified and shaken up.
The three songs I played with Helmut went very well, though. Everyone was singing, and he was sitting right next to me, so I didn't feel as under pressure or in the spotlight.
Phew.
Syd, I have a lot of admiration for you for pulling everything off so beautifully each Sunday. My goodness.
Lyric of the day: "Vater, unser Vater... alle Ehre Deinem Namen. Vater, unser Vater... bis ans Ende der Zeiten. Amen."
(Father, our Father... Your Name be praised. Father, our Father... until the end of time. Amen.)
2 comments:
Yeah, you really did butcher that prelude. My ears were in pain throughout the entire service. It was terrible. Furchtbar.
Shut up, Leo. Who asked you, anyway?
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