Translation Project 2016

So... it's time for another *drum roll*... Translation Project!  After probably not enough thought, and a little push from Dad, I started talking with a guy from back home.  I'd like to live in the States at some point when I grow up, so why not talk with an American Boy?  We hung out (he was in Berlin) and wrote for no more than a couple of months, and it was one of the most bizarre things I've ever experienced.  I've seen a lot... but I have never seen anyone so all over the map, and have never gotten so many mixed signals.  In retrospect, I feel like I finally understand what he was trying to tell me... so here goes...

"I really want to see you again - let's meet in London!"  =  "Sometimes I would somehow like to meet someone (preferably female) somewhere someday and do something."

"I'd really like to get together with your parents when I'm in Austin next month."  =  "I really want to get together with some chic's parents at some point."

"I'm not interested in playing games."  =  "Having you book an international non-refundable ticket, and then cancelling doesn't count as a game.  That's life."

"Come visit me in Boston - I'll use my frequent flyer miles to fly you out here!"  =  "I kinda want an In-N-Out Burger."

"It's important for the man to be the leader and take initiative."  =  "Why don't you jump on this out-of-control emotional roller-coaster with me... and we can crash and burn!"

"I'm looking for [insert various characteristics] in a wife."  =  "I've got a date with another chic next week."

"Let's agree to always communicate openly and honestly."  =  "Why don't you go ahead and pour your heart out and I'll just kinda tell you what you want to hear."

"Work is kind of stressing me out."  =  "YOU are kind of stressing me out."

"Yeah, I need some space to figure things out."  =  "Check out my drama on facebook."

"I'm a Calvinist."  =  "I'm part of a super secret group of Elect... kinda like my first-class status with Delta Airlines.  Who needs church and other people when you've been hand-picked for limited atonement?"

"I really like you."  =  "I really like the idea of a girlfriend.  It has nothing to do with you personally."

I really like you."  =  "I really like a good bbq."

"I really like you."  =  "I think I'd make a good beat-boxer."

Ok... that might have been kind of mean... but then again, reality can be cruel.  And I'd rather laugh about it than be upset about it.  :)

#sorrynotsorry #relationships #americanboys #indecisive #wtf #london #justkidding #mixedsignals