Worlds Colliding!

My Mamita wrote a letter to Bizarro Mom! Ka-ray-zee-ness!


I read it the other day, and it was so strange. Well, the letter itself wasn't strange; it's the situation that slightly freaked me out.

At times I feel like George on Seinfeld (*waves to Shelby*)... he had two or three "worlds", and in each world, he was a slightly different "George." These worlds were in no way allowed to cross orbits.

Everyone has their various worlds (think: home, work, school, church, friends, etc.)... and though it can be strange and uncomfortable at times when the orbits intersect, it's actually a good thing. In most cases, I'd even argue that it should be the goal.

I currently have four primary worlds, each containing a different "personality", if you will:

1. Siemens-BenQ Controller Persona: her focus is her work responsibilities, which she takes very seriously... and she's often perceived as rather shy and reserved.

2. General German Persona: this is the post-work personality... she's done things at times that the majority of her American friends and acquaintances wouldn't approve of. We'll just leave it at that. ;)

3. Austin Persona: this is the let-it-all-hang-out-all-encompassing-semi-wild side. They've seen the peaks and valleys, the beauty and ugliness, the elation and depression, and everything in between.

4. Christus-Gemeinde Persona: this personality difficult to explain, as she's kind of a mixture of worlds, and is still developing.

It's important that worlds somehow revolve together, and even collide. Say no to fragmentation, and yes to integration. For example, I'd love for those in Austin to meet everyone here, and everyone here to meet those in Austin. And I'd love for my BenQ friends to meet not only my Christus-Gemeinde friends, but maybe even the God of the Universe.

World Collision? BRING IT ON!


Quote of the day: "Worlds are colliding! George is getting very upset!!!.... A George divided against itself cannot stand!" - George Costanza on Seinfeld

Deutschland vs. USA: 5-1

Last Wednesday, I went to the Deutschland vs. USA soccer game in Dortmund with three of my favourite colleagues. Sports, whether it be playing or watching, has never been my thing, but this was a total blast nonetheless! One colleague in particular is a soccer-fanatic... so, it was nice to get a glimpse into his world.



Here we are... can you tell who the soccer fanatic is? Yup, Teddy*, the one draped in the German flag on the right. Volli* is on the left and Eve* is in the middle. :)


It was hilarious watching the fans... there were certain songs and cheers that the entire stadium knew and sung together... reminded me of good ol' Aggieland.

The game itself wasn't that interesting... no points were scored in the entire first half. All I wanted was one real goal from the US... sure, they scored a goal, but the ball just kind of accidently rolled into the net, as the Germans thought it was a foul. *yawn*



Here we are during half-time (the score was 0-0 at this point).



There were 64,500 people in the stadium, with a very small percentage being American. One group of Americans was particularly rowdy and amusing, so I took a picture, which unfortunately didn't turn out that well. But you can still see a faint outline of our lovely flag.


One of the funniest parts of the evening was standing in line trying to get into the stadium... talk about personal space bubbles being infringed upon!! I felt like I was back in China, in line for an ice cream at McDonalds. Now, that is fighting and pushing. The people were so anxious to get into the stadium that I was literally being shoved and pushed forward and couldn't do anything about it. People in the crowd even started screaming and cursing at security. One smart-alec kept screaming things about President Bush.** Another started blaming the Americans for the long lines. I just kept my mouth shut. 'Twas amusing.



Once we actually made it into the stadium, this is what it looked like.


Another interesting tidbit... everytime the Germans scored a goal, a song was blasted over the stadium loudspeakers... in English, of course! And after all the Bush-bashing and making fun of Americans. :) Gotta love it.



Here's a photo one of my coworkers sent me of Olli Kahn**, the half-man-half-animal-hit-in-the-head-with-a-soccerball-one-too-many-times German Goalie. Maybe he's the reason the US couldn't score.


I do have one regret, and that is missing the National Anthems. Though we were about 45 minutes early, we missed the Anthems because it took so long to get through security. Who would've thought that soccer game security is better than airline (especially American Airlines) security? What's the world coming to?

The entire experience was great, and I was surprised that I actually got into the game itself! It's a silly soccer game!! During certain points in the game, it was even a little nerve-wracking. For some strange reason, I really wanted the US to score.

At the game, I also learned a new word: Ami. It's short for "Amerikaner" (American). Hmmm. It's pronounced the way a British person would pronounce the word "army."


And one more picture of my dear co-workers... :)



*name changed or slightly altered to protect privacy
**name unchanged and privacy unprotected


Lyric I of the day: "...and the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave... o'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave." (US National Anthem)

Lyric II of the day: "Einigkeit und Recht und Freiheit für das deutsche Vaterland. Danach laßt uns alle streben brüderlich mit Herz und Hand..." (German National Anthem)

Bad Cop! No Donut!

It finally happened. After about seven years of driving, I received my first speeding ticket. As I was driving home from the soocer game last night, I was stopped on a little road between Kamp-Lintfort and Neukirchen-Vluyn. Seriously, if weapons were legalized in Germany, the cops would have more important and exciting things to do than plot annoying little speed traps at midnight.

Congratulations, though, to the German police force for accomplishing in six months what the American police force couldn't manage to do in six years... and that is catch me. I was clocked going about 25 km/h over the speedlimit, which is going to cost me about *gasp* 70 Euros.

70 Euros is a rather hefty amount to pay for my carelessnes and idiocy... but when I break it down, it's really not that bad. I've been driving (and by "driving", I mean "speeding") for almost seven years now. So... that's about 10 Euros per year. Less than one Euro per month. Approximately .192307692 Euro Cents per week. Eh, I can afford that. And I can do math when Pythagoras isn't involved.

I also received a "Punkt", or a "point." In Germany, you receive points for certain traffic offenses... and when you have X amount of points, you lose your driver's license. Is it even possible to have Punkte when you don't have a valid German or EU license? Is it possible to lose a driver's license you don't even have? Yeah, I'm on the happy yellow-brick-road to success.

Things really could have been much worse, though... for example, had I been caught about a week ago, I wouldn't have even had my driver's license with me. It had to be translated and re-written, which means I drove without it for about three weeks. The cop could have started questioning me about the validity of my Texas license, which he didn't do. And, I could have been driving 40 km/h over the speedlimit as opposed to a mere 25 km/h. Life isn't fabulous, but it's still good.

Now, to balance out that nasty little fine, I'm going to have to go without any new CDs, books, or chocolate for the next several months.

*sigh*


Lyric of the day: "I fought the law and the law won..." (Thanks to an Unknown Artist)

Welcome to my humble abode, Part II: The Kitchen *contains photos*

Today feels like a Picture Day as opposed to a Word Day, so I think I'll post a few more pictures of my cozy little flat... this time, of the kitchen. To make a picture larger, simply click on it.


Here you're looking into the kitchen/living room area from the hall...





This is taken from the living room...





Here's a closer-up view... two very important changes have taken place since this picture, however. First, I have a ratty little pink rug from Texas by the sink... and second, my fridge now has several other postcards in addition to my Sgt. Pepper postcard on it. There's one from Kenny, from my Emita, and from Constantine. :)





Here you can see all the pots and pans and such that different ladies in the church have given me... and yes, I do actually use them sometimes!





And last but not least, the little "bar" that separates the kitchen from the living room. Very cute and quaint, hmm?




Lyric of the day: "I want to be in the light as You are in the light... I want to shine like the stars in the Heavens..." (Thanks to dcTalk)

I want to quit my job and start a band.

So who's with me?? :)

My Aunt Jane* toured for a while, so why can't I??

Last Sunday after church, we had our quarterly meeting and lunch together. It was honestly one of my favourite days thus far (even more fun that parasailing!), and it's because of the people. We discussed the general direction of the church, upcoming activities, responsibilities, and who's to clean which windows in the gymnasium.

Everyone here is so laid-back, comfortable and natural with one another... they're like one big family, and it's great. After lunch, everyone was just lounging around in the youth room in the back of the church. The adults were chatting; some of the kiddos were goofing off on the computer; others were playing soccer in the gymnasium; Sydney and Eleanor's son (who could easily be one of the Little Rascals) were playing the piano and guitar; and Bizarro Mom's husband was on the couch snoozing through it all. It was hilarious.

Ok, let's take a brief break and learn a new German word...

bequem - comfortable, easygoing, cozy

"sich bequem machen" - to make yourself at home

It's a nice word, with very warm and positive connotations.

Back to the music... I was completely mesmerized and transfixed by Sydney and the Little Rascal's improv abilities. They'd written out a chord and rhythm pattern, and were simply following it in circles. The Little Rascal plucked away at his guitar, providing the beat and the primary chords... and Sydney somehow managed to spontaneously create a melody (which was quite chaotic at times, but lovely nonetheless).

It was very jazzy (I even learned the jazz scale!), and the brilliant thing about jazz music is that even when you play the "wrong" notes, or notes outside of the scale, it sounds right. As long as you're generally within a certain schema or scale, it all somehow works out.

I've always been amazed by people who can improv... it definitely takes a special talent. Sure, I can read notes to a certain extent, but's it's so mechanical and dull compared to what others can do. I think I've been bitten by the green-eyed monster. ;)


*name unchanged and privacy unprotected


Lyric of the day: "There's lots and lots for us to see... lots and lots for us to do... if she is electric, can I be electric too?" (Thanks to Oasis)

Bridging the Gap (that is the Atlantic Ocean)...

Writing this blog is rather challenging at times - in a good, amusing way, of course. And I've always been one for a challenge... whether it be packing up and moving overseas, or trying to switch from soprano to alto in choir. :)

Back in the day (well, knapp five months ago), I simply wrote anything about anyone here in Germany, only expecting a select few Texans to read it. Then came The Turning Point: a certain curious technical (and musical!) genius discovered this page, and the rest is history.

Now, I have to keep two audiences in mind, in a way. And one of those audiences is frequently the topic of my writing, which makes things even more complicated (but you all know I love you and wouldn't have it any other way!).

The people here, especially everyone at church, have become a tremendously significant part of my life. Ergo... if I'm going to write about my life here and what's important to me, I'm going to have to include everyone else, despite the fact that several read this.

Last night during Bible Study, we went slightly off topic to discuss my lovely little blog project. The feedback was positive and encouraging, and everyone encouraged me to continue writing, even if the content is personal, about the church, or sometimes about other people. Bizarro Mom (she somehow finds her way into every other entry!) and Neal* (our local progressive rocker and flute player) both agreed that what I've written thus far isn't offensive; they live here; they know how Germany is. And it's interesting to have an outsider's perspective on life and culture.

In the past several months, my audience has obviously changed... which made me re-think the focus of my writing and my goals in writing.

My original goal was to share my German life with those in Texas... not everyone has the chance to live and be submersed abroad, and I hope my dear Texas readers can learn and live vicariously through my ramblings. Americans (I love you guys!) are notorious for not being that... how shall we phrase this?... "culturally aware" at times. One of my goals is to change that among my circle of friends and readers.

I'm very pleased and excited that two groups are now reading this, and I think it's important that each group is aware of the other. So...

Mary: "Texas Readers, allow me to introduce my new German Readers."
Texas Readers: "Whoa, they're not wearing Lederhosen or drinking beer... weird."
Mary: "And German Readers, let me introduce you to my dear Texas Readers."
German Readers: *proceed to shake hands and brush up on their English skills*

The new goal is to bridge the gap, in a way, between two different groups of people, two different cultures, two different ways of thinking. Deep, deep down we're all people with the same needs, desires and yearnings... but that doesn't mean there aren't some rather entertaining differences. There's really so much we can learn from one another.

So, my encouragement to anyone who reads this is the following: take advantage of the situation! If you have questions or comments about anything, or want to share any ideas, please do so. If you've had experience abroad and would like to share a thought or story, let me know and I'll publish it here. For example, Eleanor studied at a New Jersey high school and wrote a paper about her first 24 hours in the States. I wanted to publish here... but she's unfortunately unable to find it! (Keep looking, Eleanor!!) Ideally, this is to be a group project and learning experience. Ah, idealism. 'Twill be the end of me.

Over the past couple of weeks, several people have said that they tried to leave comments but were unable to. If you ever want to add anything to this page, please let me know! Send me an e-mail. Give me a phone call. Give me a note. Tell me in person. I'll add it as fast as you can say "Eierlegendewollschlagsahnesau."

The sporadic comments from Steph** are great - she's had overseas experience and can add insights such as which Trash Category hair-dryers fall into. Karen's** comments are also wonderfully encouraging - it's people like her that make me want to continue sharing and writing. I know my Texas Readers got a kick out of Helmut's** comments (yes, he's real, folks)... he was the first German who dared to surface and add something. Then there's Kenny*... always love to hear from him.

Writing has always been something I love... so, as long as life is interesting and provides me with decent material, I'll continue to write whether or not others join me. I just want to make it very clear that this is a good opportunity for all involved, and I don't want anything to hold anyone back from sharing ideas or asking questions.


*name changed to protect privacy

**name unchanged and privacy unprotected


Quote of the Day: "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime." - Mark Twain

My Biomuell is going to kill me in my sleep.

First things first... definitions!

der Biomuell = biological waste

One thing I've always had a hard time dealing with is the fact that Germans separate their trash. In the States, all our trash goes into one trash can. Simple and sweet. Here, however, you're required (it's "geregelt", of course) to separate your garbage into multiple catagories, bins and bags*...

1. Altpapier - includes newspapers, magazines, paper, etc.

2. Verpackung - includes plastic-y things like joghurt containers, wrappers, etc.

3. Kartonsomething - includes papery things, and is somehow differentiated from Altpapier

4. Biomuell - includes anything biological such as plants, food, etc.

5. Glass - there are special bins down the street for glass...

5a. dark glass

5b. clear glass

5c. other glass (help me, Rhonda)

6. Restmuell - whatever doesn't fit into the above categories... an example would be tea lights, I think.

I can deal with categories 1, 2, 3, 5a-c, and 6. But Category 4 is really becoming an issue. I've never seen anything as disgusting as Biomuell in my life... though watching Sydney drink the remains of the liquid whipping cream yesterday came pretty close. And Bizarro Mom told him to! When I was younger, I wanted to drink those little McDonalds creamers (and would sometimes sneak them), but my mother wouldn't allow me to. Child deprivation. If I were in the States, I'd sue and retire early.

Anyway. Back to Biomuell.

It's sitting in a little clear container on my kitchen counter, waiting to be taken out, taunting me every time I walk by. Two apple cores from a couple of weeks ago are in there, and they're completely turquoise and disintigrated. There's even condensation inside the container... it's a sick little environment in there, and I have no choice but to deal with it.

But for some reason, I can't bring myself to open the container and throw it away. The more I procrastinate, the worse it becomes... and the worse it becomes, the more I procrastinate. It's a vicious-Biomuell-cycle, and I don't know how to break free from it.

Last night, as I was laying in bed trying to sleep, I thought I heard something in the kitchen... and I swear it was the Biomuell. Something evil is evolving inside that horrid little tupperware container, and it's terrifying. It's slowly fighting and eating its way out, and I'm afraid that when I least expect it, it's going to attack me.

I need help. Major help.


*to any German friends reading this, feel free to correct me if my categories are wrong. I'm still trying to figure all this garbage all out.


Quote of the day: "Biomuell ate my leg off in Augsburg... I have a wooden leg." - Kenny

Give me a P! Give me an R! Give me an O!

P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-E!

Where's my cheerleader mother when I need her?

Instead of studying, I'm talking with my Vatti online... he just got in from mowing the lawn in the Texas heat... and I'm sitting here, watching it snow. He wanted to see some pictures, so here goes...

This is looking out the window from my living room... I love the huge window here... you can watch the sunset in the evenings. Today was especially beautiful, as the snow made everything brighter.



Here's a view from the balcony...



And another balcony view... I tried to include the plant in this one because (a) that way you can see that some of the snow is actually sticking and (b) this might be one of it's last days on earth.

Ok, back to studying. Leo's waiting for me.

Leo, my Dah-ling...

Over the past couple of days, I've been spending quite a bit of time with Leo... and I'm starting to view him as more than just a "friend." He's been here through the craziness of the past couple of weeks, and he's helped me tremendously with studying for my driving test. And most evenings when I come home, he's sitting either at my desk or at my kitchen table.

Leo has many admirable qualities... qualities I think are very important in a guy. Here are a few:

1. He doesn't play games with your mind, confuse you, manipulate you, or tell you lies.

2. He's a genius, and arguably has an entire dictionary memorized.

3. He's bilingual, and definitely has a way with words.

4. He's an excellent listener, though I wish he'd talk a little more.

Our entire relationship is very clearly defined; as a matter of fact, it's based on definitions. A favourite professor of mine introduced us when I was in college, as classes were becoming more complicated and he thought that Leo might be able to help me study and write papers. I'll never forget the first time we met (*sigh*)... I was working on German homework and asked him the definition of a word... and he knew it, of course. We hit it off right away, and sure enough, Leo has been faithfully by my side since then.

Like any relationship, we've had our ups and downs... sometimes he simply shuts down, disappears, or gives me error messages. But there's never been anything the two of us couldn't work through together.

Sorry, ladies, but Leo's taken! (And sorry, guys, I'm taken by Leo!)

:)


Lyric of the day: "Standing in the sunlight laughing, hiding behind a rainbow's wall... slipping and sliding all along the waterfall with you, my brown-eyed girl. You're my brown-eyed girl. Do you remember when we used to sing Sha la la la la la la la la la de da... " (Thanks to Van Morrison!)

One killer week down, one to go...

We. Made. It. Through. Another. Week.

*closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and lets it slowly out*

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone for your prayers, encouragement, support and positive thoughts this week.

Now, if I can also make it through next week without the Big Kahunas from Muenchen taking a special trip to Kamp-Lintfort to tar and feather me for jeopardizing the budget, then all will be well with the world.

In order to "celebrate" the fact that it's Friday, I'm going to spend a lovely evening at home with my friend Leo... studying for my driver's license test, reading and drinking cappuccino (complete with whipped cream!).


Lyric of the day: "It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog... it's been a hard day's night; I should be sleeping like a log..." (Thanks to the Beatles)

Katinka-dabogana-na-huh-na-huh is coming to Deutschland!!!

That's right, my little chica is coming to visit me in Germany! I just got an e-mail from her saying that she booked her flight! I'm ecstatic! :)




Muah!

Um. Hopefully the carrier isn't American Airlines...


Lyric of the day: "Limitless, undying love which shines around me like a million suns... it calls me on and on across the Universe..." (Thanks to the Beatles, as usual)

Beautiful, blurred circle around the moon...

After choir this evening, some of us noticed that there was a strange sort of faint, cloudy circle around the moon... it wasn't clearly defined, or clearly around the perimeter... but was simply an extensive, blurred, bluish (blaeulich - the German Word of the Day) ring of some substance. I'd never seen anything like it. It was fascinating.

I had the same feeling looking up tonight as I had when the Hale-Bopp comment passed over good ol' Austin, Texas several years back. Frightening. What goes on upstairs and the intricacies of it all is both uncontrollable, often unexplainable, and beyond what we can imagine.

There's something about the sky and the vastness of it, especially by night, that gives you perspective and puts you in your place. It makes even seemingly important things such as (*ahem*) 1.4 million Euro calculation mistakes seem trivial. There are bigger, more important things in life.

Now accepting applications...

Contrary to popular belief, this entry is not a joke.

These past couple of days have proven that I'm in dire need of a secretary or personal assistant. If you or someone like you needs a job and is interested in the position (sorry, it's unpaid), please send me your resume', a brief description of why you are qualified for the job, and chocolate in any form.

This position requires bilingual skills, organizational skills, and an above-average amount of sanity (in order to compensate for my lack thereof).

Here's a brief summary of what your new job would entail...

1. Planning about 15 cost centers for the coming fiscal year in addition to carrying the normal end-of-the-month work load.

2. Multiple business meetings throughout the week.

3. Taking and making my phone calls (I'm very behind here).

4. Returning to ADAC in Duisburg to pick up my drivers license (yes, I've been driving without it for the past several weeks).

5. Writing thank-you notes.

6. Dealing with personal finances and bills.

7. Doing laundry, doing dishes, and cleaning.

If a secretary/PA could take care of these things, it'd free me up to actually be able to study and prepare for my driver's license tests. And play the piano. And finish the scarf I've been crocheting for months. And finish the book I've been reading for months. And maybe go to Greece or Uzbekistan. And not be so freaking stressed out 24/7.

I need my little chica here to tell me, "Eh, it'll all work out." Maybe in May.


Lyric of the day: "Someday you will find me caught beneath a landslide... in a champagne supernova in the sky..." (Thanks to Oasis)

Der Herr... El Senor... The Mister?

In both prayers and songs, Germans often refer to God as "Herr." Until recently, I'd only heard this word used in the context of "Herr So-and-So", meaning "Mr. So-and-So."

The same phenomena occurs among Spanish speakers, which I know thanks to my dear former roommate whose church I visited on several occasions. It's a purely Spanish-speaking church, and in prayers and songs, they frequently refer to God as the "Senor."

At first, I thought it was a Spanish-language thing, but being here in Germany raised some new questions. So, I decided to ask my brilliant friend Leo (my buddy Leo!) his opinion on the matter. He informed me that the word "Herr" has meanings above and beyond "Mister" or "Sir"... it can also mean "Lord", "Master", "Boss", or even "Gentleman." Ok. Makes semi-sense.

English speakers often refer to God as "Lord." "Master" is uncommon, but understandable. "Boss." Hmm... this'll make you think. And "Gentleman." I don't know if I'd refer to God as a "Gentleman." When I think "Gentleman", I think of someone standing on a doorstep, bowing slightly and revealing a bouquet of flowers. And maybe even wearing a light pink tie. Smooth and graceful... like Gene Kelly.

Anyway. Now we all know that there are multiple meanings for the word "Herr"... and we can assume that the same holds true for the Spanish word "Senor."

Now I'm curious about other languages... do French people, for example, refer to God as "Monsieur"...? Now that sounds suave and gentlemanly.


Lyric of the day: "Takes more than combat gear to make a man... takes more than a license for a gun. Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can... a gentleman will walk but never run." (Thanks to Sting)

Hohegrete (or, The Retreat)

This weekend was amazing... I went on a retreat with a couple of very dear families and people from church. Instead of actually writing about it (which would take pages and bore everyone to tears), I'm going to list the high-lights. Oftentimes it's the little things that make the difference and make life beautifully meaningful.

- getting to know everyone better

- seeing a glimpse of God's love through people

- late-night talks over tea

- learning how to knit from Eleanor*

- watching people beat eachother up

- singing beautiful worship songs

- singing worship songs in English (though they have a tendency to reduce me to tears)

- going on late-night walks under the stars...

- actually "getting" jokes! (well, most of them)

- learning new words such as "Eierlegendevollmilchsau" - roughly translated, an "egg-laying, milk-producing pig". This term is used to describe something that is capable of everything and makes everyone happy (and is unfortunately non-existent).

- walking arm in arm with Bizarro Mom

- being continuously impressed by how people interact with and serve one another

- trying to create a church logo/slogan with Sydney and Eleanor

- practical talks/sermons

- snickering to myself when the preacher inserted the occasional "Scheisse" (sh*t) and "Arschloch" (*ssh*le) in his sermons.

- fascinating seminar on communication

- singing "my hat, it has three corners" in German

- thinking about life and such

- afternoon naps and journaling

- singing "if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands" in German

- being challeneged

- witnessing a car accident on the Autobahn (albeit minor)

- no computer or telephone for four days

- taking two days off of work

- an ever-deflating personal space bubble

- getting a new Jars of Clay CD (old hymns re-done!)

- goofing off in the snow without a jacket or mittens on, and neither caring nor freezing

- always being the last group to leave anywhere

- convictions, affirmations, focus and encouragement


*name changed to protect privacy


Lyrics of the day: "When peace like a river attendeth my way... when sorrows, like sea-billows, roll... whatever my lot, You have taught me to say: it is well, it is well with my soul..." (Thanks to Horatio Spafford)

First times to second times to patterns...

In the past couple of weeks, I've begun noticing a sort of pattern or cycle in life. The first several months of being here, everything was new... everywhere I went, everything I did, and everyone I met. It was a constant adventure and challenge. Things are settling down and becoming a little more stable now.

For example, we had Inventory at work last week. This time, I was more familiar with how things work, how to prepare, and who to contact. Also, I know my co-workers and how they function better now, which makes things easier.

Then, there was choir last week... we're practicing for another stint at the hospital. The first time we sung at the hospital, I was rather nervous, as I'd never done anything like that before. But this second time will be different.

Yesterday after work, as I was driving to Bizarro Mom's, I started thinking about the first time I drove to their home. It was all about looking at the map every ten seconds, trying to find street names, and wondering if I was headed in the right direction. This time was different... just floating along, listening/singing in the car, not paying attention to much of anything. Except the occasional stop light, street signs, other drivers and cop I passed, of course.

Several people came and visited me yesterday afternoon/evening... and I started thinking about the changes since the first time they came over. I had to give directions, explain where I live, and make sure things were perfectly spic and span. But now, people just drop by. And if things are slightly catastrophic, who cares?

There are two things I strongly dislike using... cleaning supplies and maps. And in the past few weeks, there's been a noticeable decrease in the usage of the two. :)

Life can still be crazy, as I still have a ton to take care of and learn... but it's nice to settle into a sort of pattern, normalcy, stability.

Lyric of the day: "I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone; I certainly do.... You live, you learn... you love, you learn... you cry, you learn... you lose, you learn... you bleed, you learn... you scream, you learn." (Thanks to Alanis)

On Numbers... (or Relativity, Pi and Kate Bush)

3.14159265...

Numbers.

At one point, I thought that numbers and calculations were concrete, absolute, definite, authoritative, unchangeable, universal. But they're not. They're relative, fluid, self-defined, malleable.

People are frightened by numbers. When a number is attached to a piece of information, it's taken very seriously; the number somehow gives credibility to things that would otherwise be questioned.

Calculations and formulas are not perfect ends in and of themselves. Just because they're prescribed in some program/list/textbook doesn't mean they're God-given-absolutes. People created them. If you want to calculate something, you must determine what you want to calculate, set your parameters, and create a formula. The important thing is that you know the implications of your outcome... that you know what your end result is telling you.

There is no single correct way to calculate anything. Similar to the thinking of today's society, numbers and calculations are relativistic.

Numbers are also easily manipulated. If I can learn to manipulate them in a few month's time, I don't even want to know what the professionals are capable of. Give me a couple of years worth of practice, and I'll give you any value you want, allowing you to prove anything you want, backed up with "concrete" statistics. It's that possible.

Frightening.

Between work and discovering a new musician, I've had numbers spinning in my head pretty much 24/7. Kate Bush * wrote a brilliant song called 'Pi' on her new album, Aerial *. She somehow manages to turn a string of numbers into something serenely beautiful and melodic. The song flows... if you were to listen purely to the music without paying attention to the lyrics, you'd never know she simply rattles off numbers. Interestingly, Tori Amos is heavily influenced by Bush... their music is eerily similar both vocally and instrumentally (piano).

The complete song is on her myspace page, though you might have to be registered to listen to it: Kate Bush's myspace page

To hear a sample of Pi, you can go to Amazon and scroll to the bottom of the page (unfortunately, the rattling-off-numbers part isn't included!!): 30 second Pi sample on Amazon


Lyric of the day: "Sweet and gentle and sensitive man with an obsessive nature and deep fascination for numbers and a complete infatuation with the calculation of Pi... oh... he does love his numbers and they run, they run, they run him in a great big circle, in a circle of infinity... 3 . 1 4 1 5 9 2 6 5 3 5 8 9 7 9 3 2 3 8 4 6 2 6 4 3 3 8 3 2 7 9 . . . 5 0 2 8 8 4 1 9 7 1 6 9 3 9 9 3 7 5 1 0 5 8 2 3 1 9 7 4 9 4 4 5 9 2 3 0 7 8 1 6 4 0 6 2 8 6 2 0 8 8 2 1 4 8 0 8 6 5 1 3 2 . . . 8 2 3 0 6 6 4 7 0 9 3 8 4 4 6 0 9 5 5 0 5 8 2 2 3..." (Thanks to Kate Bush!)

Intruder in my appartment?

For the first time since I've been here, I've felt scared. The blood-rushing-to-the-head, heart-pounding, this-could-be-my-last-minute-on-earth kind of scared.

There's a little electrical box in my hallway, and though I've opened it a couple of times, I haven't touched it in weeks.



It's always the first thing I see when entering my flat... and when I got home the other evening, it was open. I know that I didn't open it. And I know it can't open by itself, as it snaps shut. Which means... someone else must have opened it. Intruder!! I suddenly felt quite sick and panicky, and debated how to proceed. Fortunately, my place is rather small, and there aren't that many places for intruders to hide. So, out of my right jacket pocket came my handy little Siemens cell phone, and I pretend-dialed an imaginary friend. Here's the logic: if someone is going to attack and murder me, they'll be less likely to do so when I'm in the middle of a phone conversation.

Mary: "Hey Hon, just wanted to let you know that I made it home..."
*strategic pause*
Mary: "Yeah, it was a long day... so when will you be home?"
*looks behind the shower curtain*
Mary: "Oh, in about five minutes? Perfect timing."
*looks behind the sofas*
Mary: "What?"
*another strategic pause*
Mary: "You're kidding!"
*looks inside the dishwasher*
Mary: "I can't believe it!"
*wonders if she's losing her sanity*
Mary: "You'll have to tell me every detail when you get back."
*looks in and behind the closet*

And so it carried on until the flat was thoroughly searched.

Is this kind of behaviour normal? An eye examination for my driver's license is pending... and I'm wondering whether a psychological examination is also necessary.


Lyric of the day: "Every move you make, every vow you break, every smile you fake, every claim you stake... I'll be watching you." (Thanks to Sting)

Stereotypes

Hehe, here are some "stereotypes" Germans have of Americans... I've actually been asked the following questions or have been told the following statements! :)

But first, a disclaimer.

*disclaimer*
To any German person reading this - the questions are fabulous, and please keep them coming. Some are rather cute, which is why they've made their way here.
*end of disclaimer*

"Do you use AOL?"
No, not all Americans use AOL. There are other options.

"Your family has a large refridgerator back home, don't they?"
Yup, you got that right. And in Texas, the fridges are even larger. And Texas itself is larger than France.

"There's not traffic on the interstates, is there?"
Ironically, that's what the Americans think about the German Autobahn: unlimited speeds and no traffic. Everyone is wrong in this case.

"He chews gum like an American."
Yeah, Americans are fixated in the oral stage. *smack* *smack* *smack*

"Do you always eat pancakes for breakfast in America?"
Pancakes? Where did they come up with this?

"Americans drink a lot of diet coke, right?"
Yes... it absolutely must be diet... to balance out the mega-bacon-cheesy-burger and super-size-fries. Maybe we are achieving balance, after all.


Lyric of the day: "We've got to come together... and thank the maker of us all. We've got to come together... aren't we all human after all?" (Thanks to dcTalk!)

Drivers License Complications

If I had to describe Germany with one word, it would be "complicated." All I want is my driver's license, but I'm being forced to jump through a myriad of hoops. If I wanted to jump through hoops, I would have (a) stayed at Texas A&M, where you can not only jump through hoops, but can also jump over hurdles and fight your way through jungles of red tape (b) said good-bye to the cruel world and joined the circus.

A professor used to try to describe people/countries with one word, which can be quite entertaining.

Russia, for example, would be "manic." They're either completely convivial... dancing, singing, telling jokes... or they're depressed. If you and I had to live through their six-month winters, we'd be down too. Then we'd be high as a kite if we saw even one tiny ray of sunshine.

America would be "extreme." We can't seem to find a balance. Everything is either black and white or blurry-grey. Fundamentalism vs. relativism. Fortunately, it's quite popular to be a "seeker"... seeking some form of God, awakening, nirvana, purpose, light, etc. Maybe we'll find that elusive balance.

Mexico would be "laid back." Think: siestas. The whole country takes a break for an afternoon nap. Lovely. Sometimes I think my sisters would make a good Mexican, as she's pretty content, laid-back, and seems to float happily along. Her catch-phrase is, "It'll all work out." And it does.

China would be "industrious." Spending two weeks at a university there, and having several Chinese friends while in college confirms this. No one works and studies as much or as hard as these people do.

Back to Germany being complicated... I was going to describe the complicated process of obtaining my driver's license, but thought it'd be more entertaining to stereotype and generalize other countries and people groups. Yeah, stereotypes are bad... but if they didn't contain a certain extent of truth, they wouldn't exist.


Lyrics of the day: "We're colored people and they call us the human race... we're colored people who depend on a Holy Grace." (Thanks to dcTalk!)

Life-changing Reality :)

Exciting news! My church in Germany now has the homepage of our webpage in English as well as in German. I've been helping Sydney*, one of the guys at church, on it, and we thought it'd be good to have at least the homepage in English, in case there are internationals who find us and want to visit.

Here's the link:

Christus Gemeinde Neukirchen-Vluyn, English!

All you Hill Country people are going to get a kick out of this - on the front page, we mention the "life-changing reality of Jesus". I couldn't resist working that in there. Speaking of Hill Country, I'd like to take this moment to give a special shout-out to Shelby*, Jen* and *SCREEEEEEEEEEE* The Receptionist. :)

*name changed or shortened to protect privacy


Lyric of the day: "Hey, Jude (not Judas), don't make it bad... take a sad song, and make it better.... and anytime you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders." (Thanks to the Beatles)

Progress and such

Today was encouraging, as I think I jumped a major hurdle language-wise. In the past, I've always noticed that the later in the day, the more difficult it is to both comprehend and speak German. It's as if you hit a wall with the language... you simply run out of words.

This evening, a few co-workers and I had planned on going out after work. It had been a rather long day, and I'd done more talking than normal, as I had to explain some functions to a co-worker (and let me tell you... it was difficult! He had so many questions!). Honestly, though I wanted to go out, I was dreading it a little, as I anticipated not being able to follow or add much of anything to the conversation. Surprisingly, not only did I make it through the evening, but I was able to follow and speak at the normal level. There wasn't a noticeable leap forward... but at least there wasn't the normal stumbling backwards.

Progress is being made! Slowly, but surely.

People I just meet tend to ask similar questions... "Why, of all places, do you want to live in Germany?" and "How long do you want to be here?" Many don't understand why I left the States. America is a wonderful country, and living here has made me appreciate many aspects of the American way of life. But I also love it here... I love the people I've met, the groups that have been established, the church I'm involved with, the way of life, and the way of thinking. Heck, I'm even growing accustomed to the fact that 99.9999% of life is "geregelt."

Living here and being thrust into independence and a new life has been a challenge, an adventure, an excitement, a stretch, and a continuous learning experience.... mentally, spiritually and physically. But it's exactly what's needed.

Status Quo, Schmatus Schmo.


Lyric of the day: "It takes a man (woman?) to suffer ignorance and smile... be yourself, no matter what they say. I'm an alien... I'm a legal alien... I'm an Englishman in New York (or an American Girl in Nordrhein-Westfalen)." (Thanks to Sting!)

Postcard from... (guess who!!)

Guess who I received a postcard from today...

...

:)

... Constantine Maroulis!!!

Here's a photo of it:



It says, "Mary, You Rock... *heart* Constantine *squiggly line*"

Yay!

I'm sure I'm one of thousands of other people who "rock", but that's ok... I still like my little hand-written postcard, muah!

As I was studying it, I realized that he didn't actually write "Mary". Hmm. How do I know this? Because by night, I'm a CIA hand-writing analyst. Actually, here's why:

1. "Mary" is in all-caps, whereas the rest of it isn't. Most people write either all-caps or not. You don't switch sides in the middle of a sentence.

2. The capital "R" in "Mary" and the capital "R" in "Rock" are obviously different.

3. The letters in "Mary" are closer together and noticeably smaller than the remainder of the postcard.

So.

That's my postcard from The Pretty (and someone else whose job was to write names).


:)

These past several weeks have been rather trying, and I've been forced to re-think and re-shuffle some of my priorities around. Things are becoming clearer, and I'm now understanding the important things of life. Such as writing letters to rockstars. Playing Skat. Lego Technik.

Lyric of the day: "My baby, she wrote me a letter... she wrote me a letter, said she couldn't live without me no more... listen, Mister, can't you see? I've got to get back to my baby once more... any way." (Thanks to Constantine for covering Someone!)

Doctor's Appointment...

Well, it finally happened: the appointment with the infamous Betriebsartzt. And it wasn't bad at all. As a matter of fact, the doctor wasn't even there today (which is strange, as it's a Tuesday)... the nurses just had me fill out a questionnaire, took my blood pressure, weighed me, measured me, and did an eye exam.

The questionnaire was interesting... on the one hand, many medical terms are similar to those in the US. On the other hand, there were some pretty long scary-sounding words, and I unfortunately didn't have a dictionary. With the words I was unclear on, I figured it'd be safer to check "no" as opposed to checking "yes." I'd say there were about 10 to 15 terms I was unclear on (automatic "no"!)... so... the next person who looks at my medical records is either going to think I'm (a) quite healthy, which is true, (b) infested with diseases or (c) a pathological liar.

The nurse probably thinks I'm a moron, but what's one to do? I'm too busy calculating statistics and forecasts to bother converting my own weight and measurements, as the following conversation proves:

Nurse: "How tall are you, Frau Barber?"
Mary: "I'm sorry, I only know my height in feet and inches, not meters."
Nurse: "That's fine; we can measure you... how much do you weight, then?"
Mary: "Umm, I don't know that, either. Well, I do know it, but in pounds, not kilograms."

Oh well.

The eye exam went fine. I think they want to be able to trace the deterioration of my eyes due to excessive amounts of work-related computer time.


Lyric of the day: "I don't want to be your other half... I believe that one and one make two... and I'm not the doctor." (Thanks to Alanis.)

At least I've still got my piano.

Some words of wisdom I'd like to reiterate... concerning significant others (or lack thereof, in this case).

1. Find someone with the same values. This is the advice that my grandmother gave my mother, so it's very special. When my mom asked her parents what they thought she should look for in a man, this is what they told her. Other things (think: hobbies, interests, the physical) can change, but values are core to who you are. These absolutely must be in sync.

2. If you're not happy when you're single, you won't be happy with someone else. My Mom told me this years ago, and it's always stuck with me... interestingly, I was talking with Bizarro Mom the other day and she said the exact same thing. It's amazing and encouraging how God works and speaks through people.

This statement is so true. Why? Because, ultimately, contentment is not found in another person. Contentment and true happiness are found outside of ourselves, and outside of other people. If you expect another person to fulfill you and bring you contentment, you're going to put an insanely unfair amount of pressure on that person, as it's impossible.

This last one is for the ladies...

3. Do you respect his judgement and decision making? Before my parents were married, one of my mother's mentours asked her this question. Though marriage is a partnership, women, for whatever reason, are called to *ahem* submit themselves to a certain extent to their husbands. If there is a lack of respect, an absence of trust, or a difference in values, this cannot function correctly. If at all.

Everyone makes mistakes, of course... and we're to forgive... but if a man makes decisions that are repeatedly out of line with your values and what you believe and hold dear, and if you do not respect the decisions he makes, then... ADIOS MUCHACHO!

*steps off the soapbox*


Lyrics of the day: "Wait a minute, something's wrong... oh, the key won't unlock this door. Hey, I have a bad feeling... my baby don't live here no more... but I still got my guitar." (Thanks to Jimi Hendrix.)


Yes, and I've still got my piano. Muah.

Collecting coins vs. collecting children

Whereas people in the States collect things such as coins, stamps, postcards or creepy porcelain dolls, people in Great Britain collect children.

Instead of "picking up" their children, they "collect" them.

Fascinating.

And they still use the word "rubbish."

:)

Drowning in Statistics, Formulas and incomprehensible German Words

It finally happened: I had a bad day in Germany. A very bad, frustrating day. A Statistic of expected/unbooked costs was due today... which means going through the actual costs and comparing them with the expected costs and orders that haven't been booked yet. Whatever is expected, but hasn't been booked is your "Statistik." Sounds simple enough, eh? Compare the actual with the expected, and calculate a nice, clean, pretty little value. Maybe even a whole number!

Well, let's throw in some other factors. Such as multiple cost elements. Multiple months. Costs being backed up over several months. Costs being booked in non-chronological order. One specific cost/order running over multiple cost centers. Costs running in little hidden corners of cost centers. Costs running over cost centers that I'm not responsible for. Formulas that calculate things I don't understand. Having to change formulas. Having to estimate based on what "feels right." Not understanding when co-workers are trying to explain things to me. And the list (like the beat) goes on.

The most frustrating thing is not understanding, and today was worse than usual. I was staring intently at my co-worker, trying so very hard to understand, but it simply wasn't happening. Sure, I understood about 95% of the individual words that were coming out of his mouth. I even understood most of his sentences. But for some reason, I couldn't put the pieces together to grasp the concept.

Imagine someone saying the following to you: "Yada yada yada Kostenstelle yada Einzelmonate und Auflauf blah blah Statistik bilden blah blah Ist-Werte blah gekaufte-bezogene Dienstleistungen yada Materialverbrauch yada yada ganz wichtig." Then, imagine having to take what was just told you, and having to calculate an official Statistic with it. A Statistic that's going to find its way into the upper management levels. Help!!!

Once 5:15 hit, I wrote a snazzy little Excel forumla containing an infinite loop that crashed both Excel and the computer. Then I called it an evening.



Lyrics of the day: "Do do do, da da da... is all I want to say to you... do do do, da da da... they're innocent and all that's true." (Thanks to Sting and the Police.)

The Company Doctor... (and mandatory appointments)

Der Betriebsartzt is what he's called here... he's a company doctor who works every Tuesday and Thursday. If you're sick (just make sure to be sick only on Tuesdays and Thursdays), you can visit him, and he'll try to help the situation.

Last week, I had a rather sore throat, headache and stomach ache, so a dear coworker went with me to the doctor. The assistant gave me cough drops and tablets. Yup, just gave them to me. Now I know why about 40% of my salary is taxed. Cough drops!

If you're feeling sick, then it's nice to have a doctor right in your building that you can visit. But what I don't appreciate is a phone call I received yesterday afternoon. Someone from the HR department called me and said I was overdue for my appointment with the Betriebsartzt.

Ahh... I already have a bad name in the HR because of the work permit drama, losing my company ID card, and trying to get through security with a camera and a ridiculous amount of CDs. Maybe I shouldn't push it with the doctor issue. But I'm an American... I have to be pushy, annoying and questioning. ;)

HR: "Hello, Frau Barber, our records indicate that you haven't seen the Betriebsartzt yet."
Mary: "That's right. I haven't been sick. The cough drops work miracles."
HR: "Each employee needs to have a standard physical check-up... you need to schedule yours as soon as possible."
Mary (starts to panic): "But... but..."
HR: "Frau Barber..."

And then comes the catch phrase... "so ist geregelt...", which, roughly translated, means, "it's a rule/law in some rule book somewhere, so you'd best stop asking questions and immediately do as you're told." This is where most people quickly become silent and obedient. I guess if something is "geregelt", you have to follow it... but I can't help asking why it's even "geregelt" in the first place. This is a very standard phrase, used for processes and obligations that no one seems to agree with, but follows through with anyway.

All that to say, I'm feeling rather pressured to visit the Betriebsartzt because it's "geregelt." But... what if I don't go? What if I don't want a doctor poking and prodding and looking at me when I feel perfectly fine, other than a scratchy throat? Will I lose my job if I don't go? Will they make me clean toilets instead of making financial forecasts? Is that part of the rules? What if they do find something a little funky? Will I lose my job? Why does the company concern itself with my health? What does it matter to them?

I told a coworker that I didn't want to go, and he looked at me as if I were crazy. Everyone goes to the doctor, he told me. I proceeded to ask what would happen if I were to refuse. Impossible, he said. It's "geregelt." You can't refuse.

Darn, I can't break free of my question-protest-start-a-fire-take-it-to-court-whine-and-complain-challenge-the-rules-American way of thinking.

What's a frustrated American girl to do while in Europe? :)

Eh, I'll make the silly appointment. When in Rome...


Lyric of the day: "If you're down, he'll pick you up... Doctor Robert. Take a drink from his special cup... Doctor Robert. He's a man you must believe, helping anyone in need... no one can succeed like Doctor Robert." (Thanks to the Beatles!)

Welcome to my humble abode, Part I: The Hallway

The moment has arrived... now that my camera is back in my possession, it's time to upload some photos of my lovely flat.

For a clearer and larger picture, just click on the picture itself...

Today, I'd like to show you all the entry-way. In the following picture, we're standing in the hallway right outside my doorway... there are three main rooms... straight ahead, you can see my bedroom... on the left is the living room/kitchen, and on the right is the bathroom. Or "toilet", as they would say in England. That's right. The "toilet" can be both the literal toilet as well as a room. Hmm.



Now we're actually in the flat...



This little box is right on the left when we walk inside... I'm not sure what it does, and I keep forgetting to ask. I do know, though, that if you rapidly and simultaneously flick all the switches, little sparks are generated. Just kidding. :)

The little black hanging thing is my work ID card. It's a horrible picture, which is why it's facing the wall... I already see a horrible picture when I look in the mirror in the morning... once a day is enough.



Here are the pictures hanging on the entry-way wall... aww, my chicas. :)



And, the entry-way table... me gusta mucha Ikea. If you look closely, you can see where I ran out of paint and didn't quite finish re-painting the lower part of the hallway walls. Ah well.



If you ever come visit, you can hang your coat and scarf here... *hint hint*



Stay tuned, folks... next time, it's Part II: The Bathroom.

Tea and biscuits, anyone? (spoken with a British accent)

British people. Why are they so darn fascinating? They're technically European, but they speak English. They speak my language, but with a sophisticated twist. And they produce people like the John, Paul, George and Ringo. What more could you want in a country?

This past Sunday, I spent the day at Bizarro Mom's (whom I'm now officially allowed to call by her first name). Some new people from the church were also there... three were from GB, and two of the three couldn't speak much German. Throughout the entire day, there was a fascinating mixture of German, British English (BE) and American English (AE). Until Sunday, the only exposure I'd had to British people was on Beatles Airways and in the London and Manchester airports.

The difference between BE and AE is more drastic than I'd realized. They even use different prepositions!! For example, Harry* said that "A is different to B." We would say "different from" or "similar to", but not "different to."

Some of the sentence structures even differ, though I can't recall any examples at this point. I do remember noting that the structure was more similar to German than to AE.

On Sunday, I learned not only some new German words (as I do every day), but some new English words. For example...

BE: chips = AE: french fries (or is it now freedom fries?)

I discovered that one when Gladys* said that she was "baking chips in the oven." Why would anyone bake chips? Then again... I was amidst Germans and Brits, so who knows what crazy stuff could happen?

BE: crisps = AE: chips

Does Paul McCartney really say "crisps" instead of "chips"?

BE: biscuits = AE: cookies

Mmm, now I want tea and cookies. And I'd like to take delicately small sips while holding the cup with my little pinky finger pointed elegently outwards.

BE: nappy (nappie?) = AE: diaper

Who came up with that one?

Be: peg = AE: clothespin

This actually makes sense...

Also, they pronounce the words "paw", "poor" and "pour" the same. Sure, in AE we pronounce "poor" and "pour" the same... but at least we differentiate between these two and "paw." They do not, however, pronounce "rider" and "writer" the same, as many AE speakers do. Thank goodness the Beatles wrote their lyrics down for us Americans... otherwise we wouldn't know if "Paperback Writer" was actually "Paperback Rider." Though there are some obvious contextual clues.

'Twas an interesting afternoon... I was also surprised at how well everyone spoke English (I'm not referring to the Brits and myself here)... Bizarro Mom's English was great, as was her son's (who spent a year in Canada... is Canadian English similar to AE? to BE?) and several other people's from the church.

Though I now realize that Tony Blair and I speak a rather different language, he's still my international political crush. *sigh*



Lyric of the day: "If you really like it you can have the rights; it could make a million for you overnight. If you must return it, you can send it here... but I need a break and I want to be a paperback writer. Paperback writer." (Thanks to the Beatles!)


*name changed to protect privacy

Espionage Accusations and Confiscations

Though I managed to waltz through three airport checkpoints and fly internationally with a false ticket, I can't manage to make it through the Zugangskontrolle (entrance/exit security) in my own company.

Yesterday, after a relatively long and busy day at work, I went through security, as I do everyday. This time, however, I was stopped and questioned by one of the security guys. I don't know his name, but for the sake of the story, let's call him "Frankie."

Frankie (squints and looks closer at the x-ray screen): "What's that in your purse?"
Mary: "Oh, that's my camera."
Frankie: "You know cameras aren't allowed on the premises."
Mary: "No, I didn't realize that."
Frankie: "Of course no cameras are allowed in here. Everyone knows that."
Mary: "Had I known, I wouldn't have brought it in... I'm sorry, but I didn't know."
Frankie: "Yes, you DID know. You signed."
Mary: "I signed?"

Needless to say, I felt like a complete idiot after this conversation. Evidently, in one of the piles of papers and forms I'd signed in my own blood, the fine print said that no cameras are allowed. Frankie then proceeded to confiscate not only my camera, but my CDs as well.

The next day, one of my co-workers received an official e-mail from the security people, with the title saying something along the lines of, "Privatkamera und CD Mappe mit 33 CDs in der Zugangskontrolle bei der Fr. Barber (Personalnummer XXXXXX) gefunden." Or, "Private camera and CD case containing 33 CDs found on Ms. Barber (Personel Number XXXXXX) in Security." As if I were a criminal. How much does diplomatic immunity cost? Is it even possible to purchase it?

Let's stop and think about this: if I really wanted to commit espionage (which I most certainly do not!), I would be smart about it. I would read up on all of the rules. I would know exactly what's allowed and what's not. I wouldn't break any obvious rules. I wouldn't haul a camera around. I wouldn't carry 30+ CDs with me. There are better, smarter, securer, and less obvious ways to transfer data. *Ahem*

I did receive everything the next day, though a co-worker had to pick it up for me and check to make sure I didn't have any confidential data CDs or illegal pictures.

Frankie was outside smoking a cigarette today as I was headed home... I smiled and wished him a nice rest of the day.


Lyric of the day: "Secret Agent Man (Woman, in this case), Secret Agent Man... they've given you a number, and taken away your name..."

Headed Heavenward (hopefully!!)...

Yesterday was my first Sunday back in Germany, and it was wonderful to be at church and to see everyone once again. At this point, I'd normally turn all sappy and write how much I love everyone there, but I know some of them read this, so I'm slightly embarrassed to take that route. :)

It has been a little difficult being immersed in German 24/7 after a 2.5 week break, and I've noticed that I'm not able to follow as quickly and closely as before, but we'll give it a few more days and hopefully things will be back to normal. Retrogression... fun stuff. As long as there's an equal or greater amount of progression later, all will be well in the language realm.

There was a New Year's service at a little church in a nearby city yesterday, and I went with a dear family from my church... because of the New Year, everyone was asked to draw a little card with a verse and lyrics. Mine was quite lovely.

First, the verse...

"Selig sind, die reines Herzens sind; denn sie werden Gott schauen." Matthäus 5,8

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." Matthew 5:8

Then the lyrics...

"Mach mich reines Herzens, daß ich Deine Klarheit schauen mag in Geist und Wahrheit. Laß mein Herz überwärts wie ein Adler schweben und in Dir nur leben."

"Create in me a pure heart, so that I might see your clarity in spirit and in truth. Let my heart float heavenwards like an eagle and only live in You."

This is a wonderful prayer for the New Year. Purity. Clarity. (Sanity?) In both spirit and truth.

There's also an eternal perspective here... a heavenward-floating heart as opposed to one that's weighed down, unable to truly fly, and focused merely on the temporal. Also, the heart isn't simply looking upwards into the heavens, but is actually floating up into the heavens. It's doing something. It's more than a thought or an idea; it's an action. Yes, thoughts and ideas are wonderful things... but unless they're acted upon and applied, they're meaningless (the high marjority of thoughts, that is... gotta give Aestheticism some credit here...). Ideas ought to be a means to an action, not an end in and of themselves.

Anyway. I think I'm going to laminate the card and put in on my fridge... next to the postcard of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and the gang. :)

Mission Cowboyhüte: Successful

(Cowboyhüte = Cowboy hats)

I'd like to take a moment to pause and officially thank American Airlines for (a) not questioning me regarding the bulk amount of Cowboy hats I brought to Germany and (b) not confiscating them. *applause*

This Saturday, I visited a very dear family from church and gave the kiddos each an authentic Texas (made in Mexico... but at least not China) cowboy hat. I've always thought the things were rather goofy, but I have to admit everyone looked pretty darn cute in them. It's so out of context, yet so perfect. The littlest kiddo wasn't there, so that's why I'm in the picture, wearing her hat.



And a close-up...



Typical of Germany, we had cake in the afternoon... here are some more photos...

The two on the outside are Bizarro Mom's kids, and the ones with the cowboy hats.



And another family from church... she likes to wear green pants and paint. :)



And another...



Here's Bizarro Mom in a cowboy hat... maybe I should have brought four back.



And here's her husband, eating cake.



The girls are cooking up something, though I'm not sure what...



Some of the guys repaired a bicycle, which was quite interesting.



'Twas another fabulous day in Deutschland...

Making the World a safer, happier, better place...

... by bankrupting one corrupt airline at a time. Yes, that's right. I'm going to need your help in fighting the Evil Empire commonly known as American Airlines. By sharing my flight experiences from the past couple of weeks, I'm hoping to shed some light into the darkness, helping you, too, to resist the AA Force.

I'm going to sprinkle actual conversations throughout this blog, in order to (1) help you understand the situation more clearly and (2) to provide much-needed comic relief throughout this horror story. :)

It all began a week prior to departure when I received an E-mail suggesting I contact the airlines, as my itinerary had been changed. Upon contacting AA, I was told that the final leg of my flight (from Chicago --> Austin) was cancelled, and that I had to leave for Austin the next day instead. Yes, there was a later flight (at 6:30)... but they wouldn't book it for me, as it would only give me 30 minutes to make it through customs.

Mary (to a colleague): You won't believe what just happened... my flight to Austin was cancelled!
Uwe (a colleague): What do you mean "cancelled"?
Mary: Cancelled. Storniert. I have to leave the next day.
Uwe: The airlines can just do that? Aren't there laws against that?
Mary: Not in the States, evidently.
Uwe: America... the land of unlimited possibilities...
Mary: Yeah... the land of unlimited *bleep.*

The trip home started off nice enough... Bizarro Mom took me to the airport, and helped me check in... and I had a nice, comfortable flight (including British shortbread cookies) from Duesseldorf --> London.

In London, however, the drama began as soon as I handed the AA Agent my boarding pass...

Agent (spoken with a British accent): Are you with a Mr. Bardsley?
Mary: Pardon? No...
Agent: Whose ticket are you flying with? Where did you get it? Who are you?
Mary (starts to panic): Um, this is the ticket I was handed in Duesseldorf...

Sure enough, upon closer examination of my boarding pass, I realized that it had the name "Spencer Bardsley" on it. I was ushered behind the counter, and asked to please sit still and wait as they investigated the situation. After multiple phone calls, they determined that I had no criminal intent, and they asked me to identify my baggages before boarding the plane.

The frightening thing in this situation is that I made if from Duesseldorf --> London not only under someone else's name, but under a male's name. There were even three checkpoints, where they "checked" my boarding pass, my passport, and me. What does that tell you about airport security? What does that tell you about the security agents? What does that tell you about AA? And, most importantly, what does that tell you about my femininity?

Fortunately, I was moved to business class as a result. Talk about a different world. Ok, SAT prep time...
Coach class : Business class, guys with Texas drawl : guys with _____?*
(a) floral shirts
(b) eyeliner
(c) British accents
(d) skills

After making my my way to my comfy business seat (yes! Leg room for freakishly tall people!), I was still in a state of nervousness. As I began to frantically write in my journal, the guy sitting next to me asked if everything was ok. He was a Mormon, which is important later on in the story.

Mystery Mormon: Are you ok?
Mary: Actually, the craziest thing just happened...
Mystery Mormon (looks at me like I've lost it): Hmm?
Mary (proceeds to tell the above story): Yada yada yada...

After telling him what happened, I couldn't help but look at his nametag. Lo and behold, it said "Elder Bardsley."

Mary: Is your name, by chance, Spencer?
Mystery Mormon (with bulging eyeballs): Yes...
Mary: Aha!!!
Elder Bardsley: How do you know?
Mary: You're The One! I had your ticket!

Sure enough, I happened to be sitting next to Elder Spencer Bardsley in business class. What are the chances?

Touching down in Chicago was rough... I did not want to be there, and I did not want to spend the night there alone. During the landing, I decided two things: (1) I was going to fight as sweetly and tactfully as I could to make it back to Austin that night. (2) I was going to anticipate having to spend the night in Chicago, so as not to get my hopes up, only to have them dashed.

Mary (at the AA ticket counter): Hello *smiles sweetly*, I'm supposed to leave for Austin tomorrow morning, but I'm wondering if there's a flight leaving for Austin tonight instead.
AA Agent: No, I'm sorry, there's not.
Mary: Actually, it's only 6:20, and I know that there's a flight that's supposed to leave for Austin at 6:30. Could I go stand-by or make it on that one?
AA Agent: Oh, actually, that one was delayed. It's leaving at 7:00. But you don't have enough time to make it to the terminal. It's 45 minutes away.
Mary (through tears): You mean I'm missing it by five minutes? What if I run? Can you call and see if it's been further delayed?
AA Agent: No. I can't call anyone. Plus, we can't delay the flight for one person. You can't make it.
Mary: Are there any other flights leaving for Austin tonight? Has anything else been delayed?
AA Agent: No, I'm sorry.
Mary: Would you please check? Please just check the computer once more.
AA Agent: Actually, a different flight has been delayed until 8:00.

And so it went, back and forth. As soon as she demanded that I pay for the flight change from Saturday morning to Friday night, I asked to speak to her supervisor. The original/cancelled flight was Friday night! Once the supervisor showed up, things were straightened out, I was printed a boarding pass, and was sent on my merry way.

Of course, I had to call my parents to let them know I would be arriving that night instead of in the morning... but sure enough, my German cell phone didn't work in the States, and sure enough the payphones weren't working (I even remembered to carry USD with me!). The perfect solution: ask an AA Agent for help!

Mary: Is there any way I could borrow your phone? My cell phone is out, and the payphones aren't working.
AA Agent: There are payphones right over there.
Mary: I realize that. I tried three of them, and they're not working.
AA Agent: I'm sorry, but I can't fix the payphones.
Mary: But do you have a phone I could borrow, as they're not working?
AA Agent (walks away): I can't deal with this right now.

I'm not exaggerating; this is seriously how the conversation went. Thank you, AT&T commercials, because within five minutes it dawned on me to call Collect. Which means that within about six minutes, I was on the phone bawling to my poor mother.

The fun ended as soon as I tried to board the plane and handed the agent my freshly printed boarding pass.

AA Machine (spits my boarding pass out): *beep*
AA Agent: There must be a problem with your boarding pass.
Mary (starts going into convulsions): Pardon? It was printed 30 minutes ago.
AA Machine (spits it out again): *BEEP*
AA Agent: Your seat seems to be nonexistent. Well, I'll just print you a new one.

Sure, I appreciated that she printed me a new one right then and there... but what concerned me was that she had just told a stand-by passenger that there was absolutely no room on the plane. How in the world was she able to print a new pass for me? There was something rotten in the state Illionois that night...

That Friday was literally and figuratively one of the longest days of my life. Literally, due to the time change and figuratively, due to the drama.

Every bit was worth it, though, to see my parents and three beautiful sisters waiting for me in Austin! My five favourite people! I never knew a hug could feel that warm and nice... :)



All that to say... if you have a choice, do not fly American Airlines. Fly Continental. Or United. Or Southwest. Or hitchhike.



*the answer to the question is (c), British accents. Which are as plentiful as tea and shortbread cookies on Beatles Airways.


Click here to e-mail me!

Time to say Good-bye...

As today is my last day in Germany, I've decided to further procrastinate my packing and write instead.

One way to measure how much you like certain people or a certain place is by the difficulty in saying good-bye. Even though I'm only going to be gone for a couple of weeks, I know that I'm going to miss everyone here tremendously.

At the end of the Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield said he'd rather not build friendships or relationships, as it's too painful to say good-bye. Though this is true to a certain extent, and the pain can be very real, it is worth it (at least with friendships!). The same is certainly true for my family and friends back home as well... when leaving, I'd rather experience sadness due to our close relationships as opposed to apathy due to lack of a relationship. The more love, the more pain... strange the way that works.

On a lighter note, back to, um, unpacking... the fact that I have to pack my suitcase to go home has forced me to finish unpacking from three months ago. :)

Lyric of the day: "Time to say good-bye..." (that's as far as I know the lyrics, as the rest is in either Spanish or Italian... thank you, Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli!)


Click here to e-mail me!

Gefangen! (Caught!)

Dieser Eintrag ist besonders für meine Freunde und Bekannte in Deutschland...
(This entry is especially for my friends in Germany...)

Heute habe ich gelernt, dass ein lieber junger Mann diese Website gefunden hat. Ich will natürlich niemanden ausdrücklich nennen... ich sage einfach, dass er ganz sympatisch und nett ist, dass er total schön Klavier spielt, dass er ziemlich gross ist, und, dass ich seine Mutter eigentlich sehr gut verstehen kann, obwohl sie manchmal Schwäbisch spricht.

Ich würde mich gern ein bisschen erklären, denn ich schon was über euch geschrieben habe. Das Ziel dieser Website ist, meiner Freunden, Bekannten und Kollegen in Amerika ein Update von meinem neuen Leben in Deutschland zu geben. Als ich noch in Austin war, habe ich alles überlegt, und mich entschieden, dass so eine Website schöner und einfacher als ein Rundbrief wäre. Natürlich seid ihr alle ein sehr wichtiger Teil meines neuen Lebens... deshalb seid ihr hier drin. Und jetzt könnt ihr alle genau wissen (ich vermute, natürlich, dass ihr Englisch lesen könnt!), was ich über Deutschland denke. Toll, oder?

Also, vielen Dank an euch alle für alles... ich weiss, wenn ich nächste Woche wieder in Texas bin, dass ich euch alle wirklich vermissen werde.

Gemeinde Photos :)

Another wonderful Sunday is almost over... just thought I'd share some photos of my church with you all.




Here's a view of the church from the street...









Here's the back view... the white door behind the car is the main entrance...









This photo was taken from the pulpit... you can see the back where everyone talks and has coffee and cookies after the church service.







And another picture of post-church-service-Quatschen. :)

Christmas Travel Itinerary!

I purchased my tickets this morning! Here's the itinerary... :)
And yes, I'll be flying Beatles Airways again!


Traveling to Austin
Fri 16-Dec-05

Dusseldorf (DUS)
Depart 10:50 am to London (LHR)
Arrive 11:20 am
Terminal 1 298 mi (480 km)
Duration: 1hr 30mn
BA Flight: 937

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

London (LHR)
Depart 3:15 pm
Terminal 4 to Chicago (ORD)
Arrive 5:55 pm
Terminal 5 3950 mi (6357 km)
Duration: 8hr 40mn
BA Flight: 299

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chicago (ORD)
Depart 9:05 pm
Terminal 3 to Austin (AUS)
Arrive 11:46 pm 973 mi
(1566 km)
Duration: 2hr 41mn
BA Flight: 5045
Operated by: AMERICAN -- AA751

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Total distance: 5221 mi (8402 km)
Total duration: 12hr 51mn (19hr 56mn with connections)


Traveling to Dusseldorf
Mon 2-Jan-06

Austin (AUS)
Depart 1:41 pm to Chicago (ORD)
Arrive 4:16 pm
Terminal 3 973 mi (1566 km)
Duration: 2hr 35mn
BA Flight: 5226
Operated by: AMERICAN -- AA1728

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chicago (ORD)
Depart 6:10 pm
Terminal 3 to Manchester (MAN)
Arrive 7:45 am +1 day
Terminal 3 3814 mi (6138 km)
Duration: 7hr 35mn
BA Flight: 5108
Operated by: AMERICAN -- AA54

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tue 3-Jan-06
Manchester (MAN)
Depart 12:50 pm
Terminal 3 to Dusseldorf (DUS)
Arrive 3:20 pm 408 mi (657 km)
Duration: 1hr 30mn
BA Flight: 1686
Operated by: BRITISH AIRWAYS CITIEXPRESS

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Total distance: 5195 mi (8361 km)
Total duration: 11hr 40mn (18hr 39mn with connections)

Extremes and Discrepancies...

If the US is a Land of Extremes, then Germany is a Land of Discrepancies, in the most positive sense, of course. When thinking of the US, I think of extremes: extreme sports, extreme makeovers, addictions, the Prohibition vs. "Alcoholism", obesity vs. anorexia, independence/individuality vs. sheep-like conformity, etc. Though relativism is quickly taking over, the US still tends to have a rather either-or and black-and-white mentality.

The more time I spend in Germany, the more interesting little discrepancies I see. Despite the rich religious history, 90% of the country is spiritually dead. People complain about the US, while simultaneously speaking English and adopting pieces of US culture. Some have bashed the US for it's "terribly violent history"... I'm no history buff, but last time I checked, we weren't the ones who started a World War. Protecting the environment is a huge issue, yet half the population chain-smokes. Then, of course, there's History meets Modernity, with Berlin being the classic example.

Seriously, I love both countries, and feel "at home" in both cultures. They just both have their interesting little quirks.

Stalking Putin in Amsterdam...

If there's one thing I love about Germany, it's the frequent national holidays. Unlike in the US, people (often by law) actually take the day off. Yes, we had another one last Tuesday, so a group from church decided to take a day-trip to Amsterdam!

Guess who happened to be there... no, not Constantine. Vladimir Putin!! Though I didn't see him clearly, I saw a little silhouetto of a man in a limo, and I think it was him. By the time we made it to the central square, where he was placing roses on a memorial statue, he was gone! We'd missed him by three minutes. Three minutes. A little later, when we saw his procession of cars and delegates outside of a fancy schmancy restaurant, we waited, but again to no avail. Ah well. I'm not that disaapointed... Tony Blair (sorry Vladimir!) is still my international political crush.

The main thing we did was take a little boatride through the city canals. It was absolutely beautiful, and fascinating as well. There are about two thousand houseboats in Amsterdam... people simply dock their boats right in the canals. Quite a few of the houseboats even had gates on the docks, numbers and mailboxes.

As we were floating through a smaller canal, I noticed that a window in one of the houseboats was open, and you could see in. There was a lady, sitting in her little houseboat, typing away on a laptop computer! I don't know why I got such a kick out of that... maybe because it was a classic Europe sight... quaint simplicity meets technology/modernity.

Though we had a good time, I don't think I'd go to Amsterdam again. Yes, the canals were lovely, but I really didn't like the city that much. It's the type of place you should visit if you have the chance, as it's so famous... but it's really not that impressive. The ambiance was a little uncomfortable for me as well... though we left in the late afternoon, the city night life was already starting to awaken. Let's just leave it at this: I could easily launch into a feminist rant, but I won't.

Ah, Berlin... still my favourite city in the world!